This is our fifth six-second KO in just under a year, which obviously means there's some mystical intrinsic value to of six. The number six is a tool by the Illuminati to shut off the lights after Beyonce's Superbowl Half-Time Show performance -- which is (obviously) just another ritual conducted by the Illuminati to rub it in our face that they're truly controlling the planet. Pyramids, the all-seeing eye -- man, when we get a television show we're going to intentionally troll all of you conspiracy theorists out there just to see how far we can take it. Of course, in order to get on television we must sign a contract with Satan and perform secret rituals like cross dressing and drinking the blood of dyslexic babies. It's going to be rawesome -- get ready.
The number six is the amount of seconds it took for this heavyweight to knock out his opponent this past weekend at American Battle Championship in New Port Richard, Florida. There's a chance we may come across another six-second KO in the immediate future, bringing the grand total of six, six-second KOs in six articles. The mark of the beast -- the MiddleEasy beast.