Alright James Toney. Your father was an original death fighter. There's no way we would ever doubt that. We all assume that he used to collect the spleens of fighters he defeated in an empty mayonnaise jar to put them on display atop his fireplace. If you were to steal James Toney's MMA playbook and the title of his gameplan says 'Knock this guy out with one punch', grab the nearest eraser and change it to 'Put on a gi and take some classes, please'. At the end of the page, put a little note telling him that future James Toney went back in time to give present day James Toney some tips. Oh, and while you're inside James Toney's house -- see what's in his fridge. If he has taquitos, I get first dibs.

Last weekend on Inside MMA, Rampage Jackson somewhat called out James Toney due to some words that were exchanged between the two at UFC 123 in Detroit. In an interview with FightHype, James Toney responds to Jackson's comments and it's every bit of amazing as you thought it would be.

"The only thing that the Fake Mr. T has to do is sign the contract. Rampage is a decent club fighter and if he thinks his club fighting style can match my skills, then he is crazy as hell"

"What? Is he mad because I called him an Uncle Tom or because I said Detroit wouldn't accept him? (Laughing) My boy said Rampage stayed in his room and they were in Auburn Hills. They knew better than to go to the D where I'm from. Rampage is still an Uncle Tom and I will go on record and say he is not dumb enough to stand and trade with me. Machida almost knocked him out, so what do you think I would do to him."

"Rampage is a black redneck. He better stick to hanging with them white boys and keep my name out of his mouth. I ain't hard to find; sign the contract!"

I hope we all live to see the day in which James Toney will host the Academy Awards. That's not asking a lot, it really isn't. Just stick the dude in front of a microphone with an audience of millions and after his two-hour rant about how he's an expert 'death warrior', then they could get on with the award show. If James Toney jacked the microphone from Taylor Swift, it would be followed by a lecture on how Beyonce Knowles will never be able to take him to the ground. Scientists should separate the brains of Wallid Ismail and James Toney so that each person gets a half of the other's brain. That's the only way trash-talking can truly elevate to the 4th dimension. [Source]

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+3 # synthsis 2010-12-06 07:41

I had a dream the other night I was supposed to fight James Toney, he he "claimed" he was going to weigh in at 203. That's how I knew it was a dream and everything was going to be ok. True Story.

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0 # KILLMANBREAD 2010-12-06 07:43

JAMES TONEY NEEDS HIS GODDAMN TWINKIE MONEY AND HE GONNA KICK SOME ASS TO GID IT! YADDIDA MEAN!

but seriously...he kinda just laid there against randy...kinda just like a corpse...it was fucking weird...like there was zero effort...or he died checked into hell and the devil said there are no twinkies in hell so james toney resurrected himself so he can eat more. but he has no money. so he's fucked.

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+3 # Guest 2010-12-08 12:02

Next, Toney will calling him a 'Negro'.

Toney is a loser and the more he opens his mouth, the more it shows.

"Dat boy done got hisself too many blows to da head."

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0 # Guest 2010-12-08 14:21

LMAO!!! Couldn't of said it better myself...

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+1 # Guest 2010-12-06 07:44

Rampage still wins this fight via G'n'P... Toney needs to just go back to boxing or, as you mentioned take some BJJ classes before another MMA fight.

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+16 # Guest 2010-12-06 08:16

If the UFC set up Toney vs Rampage,Toney would take a dive at at first opportunity, and just lay there getting pounded, and praying that the ref stops the fight so he can collect his million and go home. Just like the Couture fight, Toney knows he could never beat Rampage, he just wants to hype up a fight and get money.

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-2 # fil 2010-12-06 09:27

This.

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+3 # Guest 2010-12-06 09:28

Mumbles is con-man. His fight against Couture was the easiest payday of his pathetic, ignorant life.

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-3 # Coq-MMA-Fan 2010-12-07 02:27

Didn't the government take all the money he made off that Randy fight?

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-2 # Talengard 2010-12-06 08:27

GET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR LHW TITLE PICTURE!

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+8 # minotauro 2010-12-06 09:11

No way, there is no chance anyone is going to pay this turd 1 million dollars to get slumped over with in minnute or so
He musta forgot Rampage is a death warrior too, apparently

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+5 # Jonesy 2010-12-06 09:17

is GSP mid-Greg Jackson nipple tweak?

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-3 # Beefheart 2010-12-06 09:47

Rampage by gigantic slam followed by gigantic ground and pound

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+3 # Guest 2010-12-06 10:09

For those who haven't seen the latest episode of Inside MMA. Page said he would stand with James Toney. He was talking about how he didn't like that James Toney said that he couldn't sell tickets in Detroit.

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+2 # Sidecheckkick 2010-12-06 11:30

I saw it and the instance Rampage said it i began to wait for my Inventors response.

If this fight actually ever happens( i honestly doubt Dana will spend money on that fatass boxer far past his prime again)and Rampage stands with Toney, it will go smth like this: slow start, Toney afraid of Takedowns, Rampage of Toneys punches, slowly picking up pace. Rampage shines maybe a few times with his hands but overall Toney dominating. Then Toney catches him, Rampage hurt but not K.O. clinches recovers a little. TAKEDOWN, hopefully a nice and hard slam. After that Rampage will do to Toney smth between what Big Foot did to Kyle and Hendo to Babalu. Dont be surprized if you hear a death snore in the end- because thats how death fighters go out.

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+12 # Guest 2010-12-06 10:21

Will never happen; there is no way Toney is going to drop to LHW unless he saws off a titty.

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-2 # Jonesy 2010-12-06 10:34

Rampage said he'd be willing to fight at HW

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0 # minotauro 2010-12-07 12:07

I did not 'find' that funny, i genuinely laughed out loud.

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0 # Guest 2010-12-08 19:33

Quoting Nolan:

Will never happen; there is no way Toney is going to drop to LHW unless he saws off a titty.

LOL I choked laughing so hard.... =P

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0 # Guest 2011-02-19 13:44

This should have been comment of the year.

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-1 # Guest 2010-12-06 10:41

Paying Mumbles $500,000 to fight another MMA fight is a crime! That money is better spent giving the lowest paid fighters a pay raise or offering finishing bonuses.

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-7 # herb137 2010-12-06 12:38

unblock me motherfucker

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-8 # herb137 2010-12-06 12:39

unblock herb

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-5 # herb137 2010-12-06 12:46

UNBLOCK THE HERB

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-5 # herb137 2010-12-06 12:47

FREE HERB

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-5 # herb137 2010-12-06 12:47

this is gonna get annoying for a lot of readers

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+9 # Jonesy 2010-12-06 13:14

Hey man you want some Uggs?

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+2 # Guest 2010-12-06 13:41

Quoting Jonesy:

Hey man you want some Uggs?

Possibly the best reply that I've read on this site.

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+3 # judoka 2010-12-06 18:34

this is hilarious because toney can now bash every mma fighter other than randy because no one will give him a chance to fight

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0 # Guest 2010-12-07 00:16

If your Monte Carlo has a Confederate flag sticker on the back windshield, you might be a black redneck.

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0 # Guest 2010-12-07 08:14

uhmmm there's nothing wrong with Black Rednecks. I think Toney may have forgotten/never known that a many of africa americans are from the south.

Hell in TX we actually have a Cowboys of Color MUSEUM in Fort Worth.

Toney may have no problems getting punched in the head, but he would be mauled in a bull ride.

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-1 # Guest 2010-12-08 10:09

James Rampage is way above you,, whay is James ene spoken about..He just sucks plain & simple

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+2 # Guest 2010-12-08 17:26

James Toney must have forgotten how "White Boy" Randy Couture whipped his butt, now he wants "Uncle Tom" Rampage Jackson to do the same, must have taken one punch too many and hoping he can find a lucky punch!

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+3 # Guest 2010-12-08 22:26

I had so many things to say, but it's all been said. Good stuff! I agree,
Toney just wants one last payday. He better be careful, Rampage wouldn't be as nice to him as Randy was.

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+1 # Guest 2010-12-09 09:49

It sucks that james toney gets to make all this money.He makes 40-50 times as much as a good UFC fighter.For what laying down and tapping.Dana White supposed to be for the Fighters???

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+2 # Guest 2010-12-09 11:16

I still dont get why its cool for a black dude to rock all the racial comments he wants, and a white atheletes career would be over for even comin close. Call somebody a white porchmonkey and see what happens

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-1 # Guest 2010-12-09 11:59

James Tony is out of his mine.Fine some were to set your old butt down!

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+1 # Guest 2010-12-10 12:18

Rampage will kill him............ .

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+1 # Guest 2010-12-21 01:50

Mr Toney has yet again shown us what a well articulated, polite and professional gentleman he really is behind that ugly 'bulldog chewing on a wasp' face. Rampage will retire him.

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