Last week, Phil Baroni made a little celebrity appearance in Mexico City where he informed the locals that those Aztec pyramids are pretty cool, but he is in fact 'the best evah'. According to Baroni, he made a trip south of the border to 'clear his mind' for his next fight in the UFC. This past weekend, it looked as if he Baroni cleared a few brain cells with the assistance of a variety of shots. Check out Phil Baroni being interviewed by Fox Fight Game at UFC 109. [Source]

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I'm sure you've probably stayed up late at night and tried to figure out what type of name 'Chael Sonnen' is. His mother chose his first name because it was the last five letters of the name 'Michael'. As far his last name, Sonnen's are heavily distributed throughout Texas and Pennsylvania. The last name originated from Germany and is applied as a term of endearment for a loved one, or a habitational name for someone living at a house distinguished by the sign of a sun. In 1984, a 'Sonnen' lived to be 95. See, I did my research but Chael Sonnen thinks you haven't done yours on the UFC.

“Some people don’t know what UFC stands for, the athletes are forgetting. It’s the ‘F’ that is confusing everybody. Some guys think this is the Ultimate Mitt-Hitting Championships, some guys think it is the Ultimate High-Altitude Training Championships, the Ultimate ‘Let me go away in seclusion and eat all the fight foods for 30 days’ Championships. Its not, this is the Ultimate FIGHTING Championship.

“While these guys are out there swinging a sledgehammer or throwing a tyre around I am throwing fists at a partner’s head, neck and chest. I am fighting in practice every day and while I don’t meant we are sparring hard every day, I mean I am working on fighting things. I am not working on mental health and Anthony Robbins and screaming the word “Yes” over and over again.”

The Diego Sanchez dig. Both fighters now share a gnary scar on their forehead just above their eye which makes them epidermal brothers. Hate him or love him, with his win at UFC 109 he just earned a title shot against Anderson Silva (or Vitor Belfort). The power of the Sonnen is strong with this one. [Source]

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MiddleEasy sort of blew it's proverbial load with our list of Top Ten Fighters You Should Build a Shrine To. If you haven't checked it out (and there's absolutely no reason you shouldn't have), it's a sleek little list of MMA fighters that are entirely too rawesome for the sport. Somehow, in the frenzied state that these lists are created (4am with a crate of energy drink), we forgot to include perhaps the rawest Russian to ever emerge from MMA: Viacheslav Datsik. Dude started off his MMA career with a KO win over Andrei Arlovski on April 9th 1999 but ended with remarkable 0-6 streak.

If there were some magical tree that produced little badass fruit that tried to soccer kick everyone that passed by in the groin, it would be named after Viacheslav Datsik. In Pankration, Datsik faced off against Vitali Shkraba where he repeatedly kicked and stomped on Shkraba's testicles as he rolled around in pain. The ref had to restrain Datsik with a forearm choke that nearly killed him. After losing his last six-fights, his former training partner and gay lover, Oleg Titov, spread rumors that Datisk died in a train wreck. The rumors were deemed false when St. Petersburg police arrested Viacheslav Datsik for a string of robberies at mobile phone shops across Russia. Datsik is still in prison and if anyone can read Russian, feel free to tell us whenever he will be released. Viacheslav Datsik, too raw for humanity. Check out this highlight reel of Datsik acting like a complete lunatic in the cage.

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You guys know Hidehiko Yoshida. Destroyer of worlds, gobbler of galaxies, jambler of Jenga towers. Dude was like a +325 underdog in his Dynamite!! 2009 fight with Satoshi Ishii. For some reason, people thought that a guy with a 0-0 MMA record would steam roll over a dude that went toe to toe with Wanderlei Silva, Cro Cop, Josh Barnett, Royce Gracie, Mark Hunt, Don Frye and Tank Abbot. To be fair, Yoshida lost against half those guys however, he did place a beatdown on Hunt, Frye and Abbot. The Royce Gracie fight was sort of strange. Initially, the Pride Shockwave 2003 bout had three judges who seemed to be pretty competent officials. We knew they were because they rocked nicely pressed black suits with matching bow-ties. In the middle of the first round, one judge was hauled out of the Saitama Super Arena due to what appeared to be a heart attack. We still don't know what exactly happened to the guy, but the match ended up going to the cards with one judge giving the fight to Royce and the other to Yoshida. The third judge was in the Tokyo general hospital probably getting resuscitated, so they called the fight a draw (but if you watch it again, Yoshida totally took that fight).

Now it looks like after Yoshida's impressive win over Satoshi Ishii, dude is finally going to hang up the gloves and retire...but first, he created his own MMA organization to promote his final fight. That's baller. That's like an alcoholic creating his own microbrewery just to drink his final beer or owning your own personal third-world sweat shop just to make you a new pair of socks. Yeah it's a little bit of an overkill, but it's Yoshida. Dude has more Olympic Judoka bling than I have deep rooted problems with my ex-girlfriend. The fight is scheduled to go down April 25th and Yoshida's MMA organization, ASTRA, is a direct result of his frustration of dealing with SRC and FEG during the Satoshi Ishii Sengoku match that magically transferred to FEG without either of the fighter's approval. [Source]

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Sumotori Asashoryu, the Michael Jordan of Sumo, just retired last week and immediately Sengoku and Dream are eyeing him with some interest to join their respective rosters (Super Hulk Tournament 2010 anyone?). Asashoryu holds Sumo's highest title of Yokozuna and has won twenty five emperor cups! To put that in MMA terms he has won the equivalent of an open weight tournament that is filled with the top fighters 25 times. That's pretty awesome considering the guy is only 29 years old. The bummer side of this intriguing prospect are the allegations that he drunkenly broke some dudes nose last month and that is the main reason he is retiring from the sumo game. However, that doesn't mean MMA is out of the question for the grand champ. [Source]

Check out a few of Yokozuna's incredible wins from a few years ago. As a reminder, in Sumo rules if any part of your body touches the mat, you are done. Asashoryu is in black.

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Last night, Joe Rogan said Tito Ortiz had a 10th degree black belt in drama. I wonder where you get those. Actually, no I don't. I don't waste my time wondering about insignificant, theoretical martial-arts belts. It's just not what I do. I prefer to create articles based on what some guy said when he was walking around Las Vegas with his porn star girlfriend. Yeah, that's entirely more productive. Check out the clip from last night when Tito Ortiz decided to rain on Coleman's parade with a death threat.

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Well there you have it folks. Mark Coleman is finished. Done. Hammerhouse can retire in the back of whatever fictional garage it was housed under. As I was typing this, Tito Ortz was walking through the crowd and yelled something obscene at Mark Coleman. Mark looked back said '[Expletive] you' then grabbed the microphone and said '[Expletive] you Tito'. Even in defeat, Mark Coleman steals the show. Randy Couture submitted Coleman in the second round. It was sad. Dude canceled Christmas with his children just to train for this fight and he still lost. Bummer. In honor of Mark Coleman, here is his post-fight celebration after he broke Shogun Rua's arm in Pride.

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Wallid Ismail needs to break down Mark Coleman's door one night and steal his nickname from whatever file cabinet he keeps it in. If the world is ill, Wallid Ismail is the true antidote. If Jesus works in mysterious ways, Wallid Ismail works by grabbing the microphone and saying whatever the hell he wants.

Mike Swick stepped in the octagon ready to bang with a dude that looks eerily similar to Sam the Eagle from The Muppets. Swick got the better of the exchanges in the first round and seemed to rock Paulo Thiago late in the first. The bell rung, Paulo stumbled in his corner and was greeted by a blitzkrieg of Portuguese originating from the general direction of Wallid Ismail. I don't speak Portuguese, I barely speak English however I did notice a few 'Chickens' 'Afraid of Me' and 'PePe Beach' emanating from Thiago's corner. Whatever was said truly inspired Paulo to catch Mike Swick with a well placed hook which quickly sent him to the mat and left him open for a beautiful D'arce choke. Props to Paulo for the win and even bigger props to Wallid telling Joe Rogan to put Thiago in UFC Undisputed 2010.

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If Frank Trigg won, the title would have been 'Frank Trigg calculates Matt Serra' but it just doesn't roll off the tongue (or make any sense). It's a bummer that our Twitter buddy (and Jaco Clothing fighter) lost tonight but on the bright side...Matt Serra used a Lord of the Ring's reference in his post-fight interview.

Frank Trigg fought a relatively smart and cautious game. He stood upright like a fully evolved bipedal and just started tagging Serra with a flurry of well placed punches throughout the first round. Eveything seemed to be going well for Trigg until that split-second when Serra caught Trigg with a hanging overhand right that wobbled Trigg. Serra jumped on Trigg like a drunk chick at a fraternity party and that was the end of the fight. Bummer, at least we get to play as Frank Trigg in the upcoming EA Sports MMA.

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