We Can All Relax: Why Cain Velasquez Looking Fat Means Nothing

I’m not here to tell you what Roy Nelson has told us time and time again… Fat people can fight. While it is true that those who bear the belly can still hang with the best (when Big Ben Rothwell severed Brendan Schaub from his consciousness, I jumped so high my head went through the ceiling panel and got ceiling panel crust all over my pizza), many people are still expressing their concerns about the very recent picture showing current UFC Heavyweight Champion, Cain Velasquez and Daniel Cormier with a fan.

Let me be the first to say, Cardio Cain is doing just fine. Have any of you ever seen the transformation fighters go through in between fights? Bones Jones is notorious for emulating his best Chuck Liddell beer belly during his time off. Sit down at Matt Serra’s spaghetti and meatball filled dinner table and tell me that 5’6 man isn’t a cool 220lbs before the cut to 170.

ddfThe man’s only loss was a flash KO to JDS, whom he then beat into resembling Drop Dead Fred (see pic on left) twice. In the words of teenage dad C-zar from Kroll Show, “Let them eat cake”.

Though I smell upset city in this one, come fight night Cain Velasquez will look just fine to all you physique-judging fans. Not only is his fight in November, the man trains with the best of the best and is your reigning Heavyweight Champ. Let’s cut him a little slack. As long as that shiny gold belt can fit around his waist, I bet Mrs. Velasquez and Mr. White think he’s fine the way he is. Now let’s have a good morning, stand up, place our hands on our hearts and begin the Pledge of Velasquez (while we all secretly pray for Cain vs JDS 4).

Somewhere out there the original belly bearing brawler, Tim Sylvia, is nodding in head in approval of the big boys.


Published on August 25, 2014 at 7:45 pm
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