There’s a satellite in space and it’s acting ignorant. Really ignorant. The type of ignorance that can only be found on a episode of Maury Povich or in select areas in West Virginia.
As you read this, Galaxy 15 is 22,000 miles in space and floating just off the coast of Hawaii. On April 5th, the satellite gave its Luxembourg-based owners the digital finger and has stopped responding to requests from mission control. It continues to mindlessly broadcast its signal in a display of zombification that would even make Chang Sung Jung proud. Normally, a rogue satellite wouldn’t make the news if it weren’t for the fact that somewhere around May 23rd, Galaxy 15th will enter AMC 11’s orbit. AMC 11 isn’t a movie theater. It’s a satellite that’s responsible for transmitting high-definition television signals for over 100 US channels including SpikeTV and Showtime. With Galaxy 15 endlessly broadcasting like an emo teen with a webcam, it may interfere with AMC 11’s signal and in turn, could severely screw with the SpikeTV prelims of UFC 114 and even the card itself.
You can’t blow the thing out of the sky. Well, you can but it’s going to cost someone $400,000,000. I guess we can all cross Fedor off the list. Scientists are analyzing the satellite’s trajectory to see if they can minimalize the damage Galaxy 15 will probably do in the next few days by possibly transferring some of the television ‘traffic’ to other satellites that aren’t threatened by a zombie satellite. Alternatively, they can launch another satellite in space, name it ‘Leonard Garcia’ and we can all sit back in our lawn chairs and watch the Satellite fight of the year. [Source]
