Whatever chance humanity had of defeating Fedor has been eliminated the first day Fedor picked up an AK-47. Fedor Emelianenko with guns is a little redundant. What can bullets do that Fedor hasn’t already done with an overhand right? The worst a bullet can do is maybe end a life, Fedor has the ability to end worlds. An overhand right with enough force to puncture a hole through space and time leaving a black hole in the shape of a fist.
Fedor Emelianenko’s first film, The 5th Execution, is now officially complete meaning we could probably see Fedor hit the silver screen sometime this Spring. Fedor Emelianenko’s character in the film just goes by ‘Fedor’ which should be enough to condense this feature film’s length down to the time it takes you to say ‘Fedor’. Regardless of what third world country you’re in, uttering ‘Fedor’ is really all you need to silence any guerrilla rebellion. Movie’s over, done. Anything else that takes place is just unnecessary. Emelianenko also inked another deal, a film entitled ‘Karate‘ that’s being produced this year. In this film, Fedor will star alongside with Andrei Arlovski and your boy, Jean-Claude Van Damme. Sometimes you forget Jean-Claude Van Damme even exists (sort of like New Hampshire). Here’s an idea for a Jean-Claude movie, make a film called ‘Fedor’ which would consists of Fedor Emelianenko just fighting mythological creatures like chimeras and minotaurs to see how long they would last in the cage with him. We don’t need a plot, we already have one: A Russian dude beating up stuff. It worked for Rocky IV. Check out the official trailer for Fedor Emelianenko’s ‘The Fifth Execution’.