War Machine thinks Brock Lesnar is gay, hates the UFC and wants to be a vampire

War Machine. Not that War Machine, but this War Machine. The War Machine formally known as Jonathan Koppenhaver. You may remember seeing him on The Ultimate Fighter: Team Hughes vs. Team Serra in which he depressed half of America by telling a story of how when he was 14, War Machine tried to give CPR to his dad, was unsuccessful, and pretty much watched his father die. After getting cut from the show due to a somewhat controversial decision, War Machine went on to sign a 10-fight contract with the UFC. After getting offered names like Brandon Wolff, Mr.Machine (we’re serious, that’s his legal last name) told Joe Silva that he needed better competition and he wasn’t going to fight until he could bang against the big namers. After War Machine’s blog post in which he wished someone would place a bullet between Barack Obama’s head things started to get pretty hectic. He was dropped from the UFC and was somehow cut from Bellator before the dude even fought. War Machine also said that he doesn’t like to be around too many humans. Dude is a true renaissance man and recently he’s ventured over to the world of adult entertainment, something that you’re probably familiar with.

We asked him probably the most blatantly obvious question we could, which career is more important porn or MMA and the dude told us the truth:

I think from now on I’ll be focusing on the porn. I’m still going to fight because that’s my passion. I love to fight and I realized that I’ve probably blew my chances of ever going back to the UFC. But I can still main event all medium sized shows all across the country and the world. But I’m still going to fight, two or three times a year. That’s what I love to do, I love beating people up, I want to fight, I want to train, I want to get better. I’m still going to be training.

We asked him the question Bas Rutten always brings up on Inside MMA, should the heavyweight division be split and War Machine pretty much goes off on Brock Lesnar calling him ‘gay’ among other things.

Because think about it man, Brock Lesnar is doo doo. I don’t care what anyone says, he sucks. Brock Lesnar, all he is is a big strong gay wrestler. Think about it, he’s probably about 275-285 and he was fighting Randy Couture who was 220. So what is that, 55 pounds? Alright so if I’m 170 minus 55 pounds, what’s that 125? I don’t care how good you are, if you weigh 125lbs you’re not going to beat me. The best 125lb in the world, what is he going to do to me? He’s too small. So that’s what’s happening. You got a 125lber vs. a 170lber and it’s just not fair and that’s the same exact thing in the heavyweight division. So Brock Lesnar sucks. He sucks. He’s only good at wrestling. He’s so much bigger and stronger than everyone…he’s just a bully. He’s not good and I think if that fight would have went a little longer, Couture would have won. All he [Brock Lesnar] is, is a big gay bully. He fights little tiny guys, wow. He weighs 50lbs more and just beats them up. Brock Lesnar sucks.

War Machine is without a doubt the most interesting guy we’ve ever interviewed on MiddleEasy. He goes on to accuse Cyborg of taking testosterone, expressing just how much he hates the government and his undying urge to be a vampire. Read the full interview here.

Published on November 3, 2009 at 12:35 pm
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