The Janitor will not be cleaning up at UFC 108

If you expect your bathroom to be scrubbed daily, Vladimir Matyshenko is the most unreliable janitor in the world. They call him ‘The Janitor’ because he cleans people’s clocks, not toilets. Sort of like that guy in The Professional. They called him a cleaner and all he did was spend his days assassinating people, drink milk and have a weird pseduo-pedophilia relationship with Natalie Portman. A really young Natalie Portman. Gary Oldman was in that movie as some dreadlocked gangster rasta guy so it was sort of money. Actually, there was a dreadlocked gangster rasta guy in that movie…but it wasn’t Gary Oldman. However, Gary Oldman did play a dreadlocked gangster rasta guy in ‘True Romance‘ which so happens to be Jay Hieron’s favorite movie. Now before signing with Strikeforce, Jay Hieron last fought on Affliction: Day of Reckoning…the same card Vladimir Matyshenko fought under. See, the entire world can be connected to Gary Oldman. Go ahead, you try it.

I was fortunate enough to attend UFC 103 and subsequently lost my voice while I screamed for Matyshenko at the top of my lungs. I’m a pretty tall guy, so the top of my lungs is probably like point where your scalp meets the atmosphere. He managed to get the unanimous decision over Igor Pokrajac, a guy that was on an eight-fight win streak before coming in contact with The Janitor. Matyshenko was scheduled to fight Steven Cantwell at UFC 108 but as of yesterday, Cantwell had to drop out of the bout due to an undisclosed illness. The UFC notified Vlad yesterday that they would be looking for a replacement and as of today…the fight has been tossed away in that recycle bin of failed UFC 108 matchups. It goes without saying that this card is beyond cursed and if you decide to order it this Saturday, be sure to have an exorcist readily available in your living room. [Source]

Published on December 30, 2009 at 8:44 pm
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