The James Toney Quote Machine is in Full Effect

I once went out on a date with this guy that I met in a club. He showed up with a mouth full of gold teeth and said he was taking me to the I-HOP. At that point I should have suddenly faked being violently ill and told him I wasn’t going to be able to go out with him (I really hate I-HOP) but in what was apparently a momentary lapse of sanity, I went on the date. In the middle of eating his Rooty Tooty Fresh n Fruity pancakes, this guy who kept referring to himself as ‘T-Ride’ and calling me ‘shawty’ suddenly looked up and asked me did I want to go back to his crib and look at the ‘freak show between his legs‘. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to laugh hysterically or breakdown and cry in utter anguish, so instead I stood up and walked out the front door of the restaurant and did the “Run, Forrest, Run”. I wonder if that’s how Ariel Helwani felt when James Toney tells him about the freak show between his legs in this comedic interview from

Published on July 6, 2010 at 4:40 pm
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