Hey you, put down the Titanfall and walk to your nearest Walgreens and get a stick of Right Guard Xtreme Clear so you can smell like some celestial being of freshness.
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It has the power to defunk your pits, but unfortunately it can’t erase away how much of a letdown you’ve become to your parents. When you were a kid the possibilities were endless — I mean being an astronaut, the president, a fireman, it was a matter of setting your mind to it and working hard. Well, at least that’s what your high school guidance counselor told you. In reality, to be what you want to be in life requires a lot of chance encounters and generally being at the right place at the right time. Your parents still love you though. Just stop raising your arms until you get this Right Guard Xtreme Clear deodorant.