Shogun Rua vs. The Shogun of Harlem

When I first mentioned this, people said it was genius. No, genius would be finding the person that took my Corona last night. That guy should get a nobel peace prize. So when the Shogun vs. Machida fight was announced a couple of months ago, everyone’s head detonated in sheer excitement leaving a bloody mess for their roommate to clean up. I managed to keep my head intact and realized that having The Dragon vs. Shogun Rua was synonymous to Berry Gordon’s film that pitted The Last Dragon vs. The Shogun of Harlem. If you weren’t born in the early 80s, I suggest you find the nearest flux capacitor equipped Delorean (or alternatively you can yell at your mother for not having premarital sex much earlier).

The movie (top five movies of all time) ends in a pivotal battle scene somewhere in a warehouse (the same warehouse 90% of all action films in the early 80s take place) where Shogun is doing his best impression of Yves Edwards ‘Thug-Jitsu’. Eventually Shogun gets the The Glow. If you don’t know what The Glow is, don’t even waste your time with the rest of this article. Go talk to Larry over there with the red flannel on. Just don’t come on this side of the room because we’re having a 80s rawsomeness party over here.

After getting his head repeatedly dunked in a barrel of something (we’re thinking its rawesome-ade), The Last Dragon gets his glow back and uses some weird blue lightning to defeat The Shogun of Harlem. To top it off, dude catches a bullet in his teeth. So who would win in a fight between Maurico ‘Shogun’ Rua and The Shogun of Harlem ‘Sho’nuff’? Well I guess it all depends on who has The Glow. The Glow is a game changer. We suggest Shogun Rua get a Jheri curl and dunk his head in a barrel of liquid before tangling with The Shogun of Harlem. As far as the winner, we’re going to have to give it to Maurico Shogun Rua for the simple fact the The Shogun of Harlem died last year due to pancreatic cancer. That’s sort of a depressing way to end a story but hey, look on the bright side…you do have tomorrow off. 

Published on September 6, 2009 at 1:58 am
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