Rampage says acting is ‘gay’ but he’s not gay…just the acting

According to Rampage, acting is gay because when you’re cold, someone throws a coat over your shoulder. Damn those coats. I didn’t know they were gay. I must have been gay my entire life and not even realized it. The next time I find myself in sub-zero temperatures and someone offers me a coat, I will notify them that my heterosexuality will keep me warm. In fact, feel free to harness the energy from my heterosexuality into a hybrid vehicle made by Toyota. It will run off gasoline and my own testosterone. Toyota can name the vehicle the ‘Carl Weathers‘ and I will bet all the money in my left pocket that it will never break down.

In an interview with the Los Angeles Times, Rampage says being a thespian is gay and that he doesn’t want the MMA world to get any wrong ideas.

“Acting is kind of gay. It makes you soft. You got all these people combing your hair and putting a coat over your shoulders when you’re cold. I don’t want a coat over my shoulders! I’m a tough-ass [individual]!”

“Vancouver strikes me as a San Francisco-kind of place. And I don’t want [individuals] getting ideas about me. I feel in my heart I’m the toughest [individual] on the planet. And I don’t want nothing changing my train of thought. If you don’t believe that when we step inside the octagon, it shows.”

I think English linguists can sit around a large circular table for the next twenty-years in search of the most heterosexual name and all of their combined efforts will lead to ‘Rampage Jackson’. Yes folks, it’s even better than ‘Action Jackson‘. Two Carl Weathers references in one MMA article. If I died right now, my life would be fulfilled. [Source]

Published on June 1, 2010 at 3:43 am
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