Paulo Filho just realized that fishing does not solve depression

Amongst Wonder Woman’s rope, Green Lantern’s ring and Gambit’s…deck of playing cards lies a relic that even the truest superhero aficionado respects: Paulo Filho’s cut-off flannel, and it’s out for vengeance. Not the kind of vengeance you see in a Mission Impossible movie when Tom Cruise gets a phone call and an hour of overly complicated plot turns develop and by the end of the movie you realize you left your wallet at Chick fil-A. Paulo Filho’s cut-off flannel is out to thoroughly chop necks, but it’s just waiting on Paulo Filho to stop being depressed.

After Chael Sonnen served Paulo Filho his only loss in MMA, Paulo fell down a spiraling rabbit hole of depression and sitting on his sofa watching re-runs of Rikki Lake. Filho came back to the MMA world rocking a million dollar bill on his stomach with a pitbull in the middle. When asked what it meant, he said the the pitbull represented himself. If you’re thinking ‘Why didn’t Filho just get a picture of himself on the bill?’ then you should shove that logical question right in the trash Yeah it’s going to be on his torso for the rest of his life but the dude is Brazilian, let it slide. To accompany that tattoo (and his existing Mike Tyson mugshot), he etched the words ‘Reward Hunter’ on his chest. It sounds like an achievement you would get on your Xbox 360. Dude’s Brazilian though, so he can pull it off. I’ve been a ‘Carmen Electra Hunter’ for the better part of my life, so far I’ve been unsuccessful.

Since his return, Filho has grabbed wins over Melvin Manhoef in Dream 10 at middleweight and Alex Schoenauer and Tatsuhiko Nishizaka in Bitetti Combat at light heavyweight. Despite no-showing at Dream 12 due to ‘passport’ problems, Paulo Filho said that he finally found the cure for his depression. In an interview with Tatame, Paulo Filho spilled the beans for every psychologist to take note:

“I confess that has been a while that I don’t go to the Master João Alberto Barreto’s office, but I’m doing healing things as fishing and talking to friends. Master Reyson (Gracie) is going to my house too and we’re talking a lot. I’m reading religion books, self helping, so my mind is fine now, but sometimes I get down and the depression comes. I went this far because I always wanted to be Paulão and I needed sometime for myself“

The power of the cut-off flannel was strong. Everyone believed Paulo Filho’s excuse until it was later revealed that Paulo Filho had no passport problems. The dude was just depressed (again) and he couldn’t even board his flight to Tokyo.

Paulo Filho was scheduled to bang against Yuki Sasaki at Bitetti Combat 6 on February 25th but Sherdog is now reporting that Filho had to drop out of his bout due to ‘personal problems’. Damn, not again Paulo. MFC’s Thales Leites is set to replace Filho this Wednesday although he will most likely not be wearing the cut-off flannel of power. Get well soon Paulo and dude, fishing does not solve depression. If it did, the shores of Southern California would be flooded with wannabe actresses. [Source]

Published on February 22, 2010 at 3:05 pm
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