If there was ever a mascot dressed as some sort of mythical unicorn that entertained children at birthday parties, War Machine would threaten to kill it with an ice pick on Twitter. You would be hard-pressed to find a more entertaining Twitter feed on any given Saturday night when you’re too broke to go out and too good for a case of the discount vodka that has a pine cone aftertaste.
Things haven’t been the same since War Machine was sent to prison for assault. Although some of you have been keeping up with his weekly prison-life blog, it’s not quite the same sensation we used to get back entertained us with tweets (twats?) while he was considered an armed fugitive. Then there was the time when he saw Avatar, decided that he was too raw for planet earth and started consuming sleeping pills. Regardless of which War Machine Twitter moment was your favorite, a judge does not find it very amusing and now he’s throwing out the plea bargain and sending him to state prison:
“After a brief break, (Judge) Danielsen said he was alarmed by the defendant’s actions in court and statements made to a probation officer in preparation for sentencing.
He said he would not honor the plea agreement, set another hearing for Aug. 24 and told prosecutor Michael Runyon to prepare the case for trial.
“It really is a state prison case,” the judge said. “If (War Machine) is guilty of this felony conduct, he should go to state prison.”
Outside court, Runyon told reporters the judge was concerned about the defendant’s attitude and his characterization of the incidents to which he pleaded guilty.
Before the hearing, Runyon gave the judge several tweets from War Machine’s Twitter account, in which the defendant says, “wish I could smuggle a few hundred Ambien in (to jail) in sleep the year away!”
He also says he wasn’t even involved in a fight at a bar in which he is accused of punching a security guard, and “I do ME and don’t change for anything or suck up to ANYONE.”
“(Judge Danielsen) wants him to take a timeout,” the prosecutor said.
The saddest part War Machine being sent to prison is that it all went down only 48 hours after he personally told us that he’s cleaning up his life. We don’t know how much prison time will be added yet or if he’ll get credit for time already served. We just hope it means he won’t stop blogging about prison life. I’ve tried watching Locked Up: Abroad on the National Geographic channel and it’s just not the same without murders, moonshine, and the Mexican Mr. Magoo. Our thoughts go out to War Machine, we hope he makes it through this so we can continue fighting, making porn, and keeping the ‘WTF level’ of Twitter at the level we’re used to. [Source]