Gegard Mousasi is like the hottest thing right now. That’s a pretty ignorant way to start off a story but when it comes to a 6′ 1″ tall Armenian dude that has the power of the entire Fantastic Four wrapped up in his fists — you’re pretty much forced to preface everything with ‘the hottest thing’. If this story were about Kim Kardashian, it would have the same introduction. Kim Kardashian is also Armenian, but unlike Mousasi, her superpowers do not lie within her fists. Instead, her superpowers have been concentrated entirely in her ass. If asses were the evolutionary line of mankind, her ass would be the first fish that decided to walk on land. Kim Kardashian’s ass has thoroughly revolutionized the world and it’s safe to say every guy is grateful for her parents having unprotected sex 30 years ago.
Tonight, shades of Fedor exuded from Gegard Mousasi. Those shades didn’t smell or give off any obnoxious fumes. Instead, it enabled Gegard Mousasi to grab the unanimous decision win over Ovince St. Preux on tonight’s Strikeforce: Melendez vs. Masvidal. During the fight, I mentioned on Twitter if OSP had just three months of Brazilian jiu-jitsu at Evolve MMA, the guy could easily toss around submissions with his incredible limb-expansion ability. Get Shinya Aoki on the mat with Ovince and by the end of the day, he will have acquired enough ground ability to break a person’s arm and give them the middle finger afterward. Solid win for Gegard Mousasi, perhaps the best he’s looked since his title fight with Babalu back in 2009 — or was it 2010? Someone fact check that for me. The internet is horrible in San Diego for tonight’s fight. It’s operating on that cutting edge 14.4 baud technology.