Hey, when Cris Cyborg talks about her favorite Mike Myer roles, she can’t help mention Austin Powers. You know why? Because she’s a MAN, baby! (said in Austin Powers voice.)
No, I’m just kidding. But really, if Wanderlei Silva and Cris Cyborg rubbed their junk together in an effort to pop out a kid, the babysitter would be Cher. It would be the best Mask since Jim Carrey.
I’m sorry, this white background is just getting to me. Let me adjust my t-shirt and jeans which portrays a sense of general ‘normalness’ when we all know I’m a product of LA. This was my dream, to be working the rounds of the LA comedy club scene. I’m like Mad Max, walking down the streets, surrounded by inbred freak raiders that weren’t half as clever as they used to be, but I’ve been on Jay Leno, bitches. Leno knows what’s up. He had to come back and take Conan out, because I gave the order (there’s no other way I would’ve made it on Late Night).
Nick Diaz was seen at a medical marijuana dispensary, mean mugging the clerk into a free weed Jolly Rancher and Winnie The Pooh bong.
Ronda Rousey came on my podcast recently for some reason, and after wiping my drool off her shoulder she reminded me that she would not be fighting Cris Cyborg because she’s a MAN, baby (said in Austin Powers voice).
Jorina Baars recently made history by being the first woman to defeat a man in a Muay Thai fight, beating Cris Cyborg last week on AXS TV.
This is when I would make fun of Mike Goldberg, but I’m under contract with FOX, and frankly I can’t risk losing that job.
I just can’t.
Eddie Bravo believes it was a conspiracy that last week’s Metamoris, metamorphous or whatever was a conspiracy… Who named that BJJ PPV? And can we get acronyms in here? Seriously! Haha!
At first I’m like, BJJ? The Metamorphosis? Kafka probably trained sambo! Hahaha!
Follow me @MMARoasted if you can handle it!