It looks like we can finally squash those rumors of Kimbo Slice vs. Mariusz Pudzianowski in Moosin’s next show. It was fun while it lasted but the thrill is over, sort of like the concept of ‘All You Can Eat Pancakes’. Sure it’s an enticing theory, but after the third pancake your body pretty much gives up. There’s only so much butter and syrup can do.
It’s hard to explain the mechanics of the universe without including Mariusz Pudzianowski somewhere in it. Instead, I will explain the mechanics of a pancake eating contest in regards to Butterbean. In short, when it comes to carbohydrates, Eric Esch is an absolute frate trane. That statement can also be applied to airing beefs with former employees via press releases. Check out what Butterbean said in Moosin’s latest internationally distributed company statement.
“I know he allegedly broke his foot in the fight against Sylvia, but he didn’t show anything before he quit. Pudzianowski has no stand-up and as strong as he is, he punches like a girl. All he does is throw arm punches. He needs a lot of help. He’s the 5-time World’s Strongest Man but hits like a 130-pounder, not a strong man who weighs 270 pounds. He doesn’t have the skill level to get to the level he wants to fight.”
“Once he gets a stand-up game – you can’t have a ground game working without one – he could be a force in MMA. He still needs some work on his ground game, too. We all know he’s very strong but that’s not enough at the highest level of MMA. I don’t know who has been coaching him but that trainer should be fired. Pudzianowski needs to prove himself, showing he has a good stand-up game by beating a good MMA fighter, before he gets another big fight like a spot on the October 9th show.”
Actually Butterbean, you’re not the only person to make that comment about Pudzianowski’s stand-up. In fact, his own boxing coach believes that he needs some divine intervention to improve his stand-up. Still, I can’t imagine a scenario in which getting punched by The World’s Strongest Man is not a traumatic experience that would require months of psychiatric therapy to fully recover from.