Big Johnson just fed Pat Barry an uppercut salad at UFC on Fox

It’s important to note that when it comes down to the body absorbing bullets, Lavar Johnson is the closest thing the MMA world has to 50 Cent. In 2009, Lavar Johnson was gunned down at his family reunion on July 4th by some psychotic teenager. He took a bullet in the stomach and another in the chest, forcing the heavyweight to have emergency surgery. See, now you know why Lavar has that gnarly scar going down his entire torso. You no longer have to be embarassed when you stare at it.

Tonight, we witnessed a brutal amount of fists being assembled on and around Pat Barry’s chin in the first round at UFC on FOX: Diaz vs. Miller. It was a bloody, brutal and most important, the entire country got to see what happens when two massive individuals come together inside of a geometrically perfect cage.

It was clear from the beginning the plan for Pat Barry was to focus on Lavar’s legs, forcing him to wobble and eventually collapse on the ground like an obese ostrich. Lavar used his massive size to rush Barry in order to close the distance and then sprinkle him with whatever emerged from his massive fists. In the end, Lavar’s gameplan won and the fight was stopped in the first round. Props to Big Johnson on his equally massive win.


Published on May 6, 2012 at 1:21 am
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