As someone who will never hold a position of power in a sports team, I’ve of course fantasized about being in power of a sports team, more specifically a general manager. I always have the best ideas and after doing countless simulations in sports video games where I do nothing but make moves and play zero games. I know for a fact that I could bring a team to the promise land.
If I was the GM of a hockey team, my first order of business would be to sign former judo gold medalist Hidehiko Yoshida to a contract. He’d literally do nothing but fight, I’d have him go out there and instead of throwing punches, he’d just grab onto their jersey as if it’s a gi and launch them into the air. It would be a thing of beauty and no one would mess with him. It’s a full proof plan, then we’d win the Stanley Cup, I’d be hoisted through the streets as girls threw themselves at me. I’d reply with “Sorry honey, I can finally afford my very own Steel Battalion controller and you aren’t allowed to touch it.” I’d end up being a hockey god and when I died, the world would shed a billion tears.
While I have to admit, it will be sad to not see my team have competitive fights such as this one, I’ll enjoy Yoshida tossing guys on their head and going down as the best fighter to ever don a pair of skates.