This week, you’ve become addicted to what is known as ‘tryptophan.’ If you munched on a turkey sandwich today, then you’ve already been exposed to the substance. Don’t reach for another turkey leg until you check yourself in rehab. Tryptophan abuse is abnormally high towards the end of November, so to prevent any of you from nodding off, I highly suggest that you isolate yourself in an area that is devoid of tryptophan. Lock yourself in your car, immerse yourself in a game of Skyrim — but whatever you do, please for your own safety, do not visit the kitchen. Just spend your time watching this clip of 30-1-3 professional boxer, Holly Holm, getting down with Jon Bones Jones inside the cage. Holm is also undefeated in professional kickboxing and MMA, which makes her a vastly more superior human being than you. [Source]
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