Don’t believe your eyes. There’s nothing wrong with Tank Abbott’s hair. His follicles exist on a higher dimensional plane — one that is simply incomprehensible by the vast majority of human beings on the planet. Not even Tank Abbott has the ability to fully comprehend his hair. To the untrained eye, it’s a scientific marvel that defies the constructs of the physical universe. If scientists were smart, they would remove it and get a few Harvard graduates to study its inter-dimensional properties. Quantum mechanically, Tank Abbott’s hair only exists if you look at it. Turn your head the other direction and it actually disappears. It’s the modern day Schrödinger’s cat.
Words don’t do justice to Abbott’s newly acquired locks — the observer must gaze on it to get the full experience. Check out this clip from tonight’s Inside MMA of Tank Abbott discussing his newly released book as well as when his next fight is scheduled to go down.