Screw your MMA, it’s time for some Fight Football

I never understood why winning a fight lands you in a penalty box in hockey while it get’s you fined/suspended in other sports. Shouldn’t there be a prize for winning? Back when cavemen head-butted one another until the superior neanderthal remained standing, he would be rewarded with the female of his choice. Rewarding the loser with the right to remain in the game is just ignorant. What kind of message are we sending to our kids? The message is somewhere along the lines of, ‘if you get your ass kicked, you’re the real winner’. While those standards make sense in a civilized society, 2012 is around the corner and according to the Mayans, it’s time to change those rules.

If you’ve ever watched a fight break out in a non-combat sport like hockey or football and wished that we could enjoy the scuffle in place of the actual sport, today is your lucky day. What you’re about to see is the most rawesome adaptation of team-MMA we’ve seen yet. Sure there was San-Do, then there was tag-team MMA, and even exotic MMA hybrids like Shockfights decided to show us a side of humanity (or lack thereof) we didn’t know existed; but Fight Football makes them all look like they belong in the same kiddy pool Gabriel Gonzaga spends his fourth of July in.

This sport is so raw that you don’t need to know any of the rules to know that it’s the most amazing sport ever conceived. All you need to know is, there’s a ball, and you can score by getting it into a net on opposite sides, but every player on your team is equipped with MMA gloves and expected to punch members of the other team in the face. While you can be penalized for severely injuring someone, the idea is that fighting is allowed, as long as it doesn’t get personal. Prepare for the highlight reel to end all sports highlight reels.

If the BP oil spill is the official start of the apocalypse, Fight Football is foreshadowing the future of all sports. Soon, cyclists in the Tour de France will throw tacks at each others tires and ping pong players will settle ‘sudden death’ match-point with potato guns. Bumps and bruises are the new Botox. Viva le revolution. [Source]

Published on August 17, 2010 at 6:16 pm
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