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‘My [testicle] is up inside my body.’ – Tuchscherer

‘My [testicle] is up inside my body.’ – Tuchscherer

CagePotato has a really cool picture of Chris Tuchscherer in their article, but just looking at it makes your testicles want to run a marathon directly inside your body. Ugh, you feel that picture everywhere (even your armpits). When Gabriel Gonzaga slammed his big toe directly into the testicular region of Chris Tuchscherer at UFC 102, every guy in America dropped their Corona and instantly grabbed their crotch regardless of geographical location. The ‘eyes closed, grabbing crotch with mouth open’ maneuver is universal. Just typing this makes me want to stop typing this. Here is what Chris told MMAJunkie.com about the incident:

“No one knew what was going on…between the doctor and the referee. No one could tell me a straight answer on if I couldn’t finish what would be the result. So I was out there and didn’t know what to do. I asked the doctor many times what would happen if I can’t continue. ‘Is it a no-contest? What happens here?’ And the doctor and the ref couldn’t tell me. They kept passing the buck on to each other out there, so no one could tell me what was going on.”

“So then the doctor is standing there and asking me if I can continue. I’m like, ‘What happens if I can’t continue? I feel like my [testicle] is up inside me.’ The doctor said to me, ‘Do you want to go in the back and look at it?’ I’m thinking to myself, ‘What the hell is this guy talking about? Does that mean we go in the back and check it out and come back and fight?’ He couldn’t tell me what would happen if I couldn’t continue. So I’m sitting there thinking the worst. I don’t want to take a loss because I can’t continue, and you’ve got all these emotions going on, and it’s your first UFC [event]. I’m a tough guy, and I have a stubborn head, but with it being my UFC debut, I didn’t want to go out like that. So basically, I got pissed off and said, ‘Let’s just do it.'”

If you asked 10,000 men what would be the first thing they would like to do after having a the force of Thor’s hammer directed at their testicles, the last thing anyone would say is ‘Get inside the octagon with Gabriel Gonzaga…again’. Props goes to Chris Tuchscherer for proving exactly why you will never become an MMA fighter. [Source

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