Yesterday I challenged Mauro Ranallo to open the gateway of his lyrical prowess and drop yet another freestyle for MiddleEasy in regards to his recent interview with Dakota Cochrane on The MMA Show. If you’ve been hibernating for the past 36 hours, Dakota Cochrane is the new TUF 15 cast member who also has a gay porn background — but states he’s not necessarily gay. In fact, the MMA world coined the term ‘gay for pay,’ which is something I’ll tell my girlfriend the next time she expects me to pay for dinner. That previous sentence is a lie. I have no girlfriend. That was an attempt to make me look cooler than what I really am.
Perhaps the most remarkable element about this story is when I searched on Google for a picture of Mauro Ranallo. Google insisted that ‘Jessica Chobot’ was a related search term. If you’re unaware, Jessica Chobot is some newly crowned gaming goddess that strikes the heart of all sexually deprived geeks out there. Is this some type of Hollywood power couple that I’m unaware of? Is ‘Maurobot’ a real thing? Jessicanallo? If so, damn you Mauro Ranallo. I will siphon your swagger like a socially awkward vampire until I can get a moderately famous chick — and have the ability to drop a freestyle like the one published below these awesome words.