UFC on FOX 6 will be mere minutes away from where I lay my head at night, so I plan on bringing as many exclusives to the beautiful eyes of the beautiful MiddleEasy readers with their beautiful heads and those eyes connected by their beautiful retinal blood vessels and beautiful optical nerves… It’s going to be great. The only wildcard is if I get motorboated by Rampage Jackson at the open workouts or something, that won’t go over well, I’m sure. It will also be really, really difficult for me not to howl at the moon Rampage style whenever he’s nearby.
Howl at the moon Rampage style like I did after watching this video by KingZ. I emailed every staff member of MiddleEasy and in an unofficial poll, we think this fight against Glover Teixeira is going to deliver the goodness. Both of these gentlemen wish to bang, and they will be granted that opportunity. Receive hype.
*Note: this satirical article does not in any way represent how the author will conduct himself at any professional events. Literally any. The author cannot, however, control a Rampage motorboating situation. Thank you.