War Machine is probably one of the most insightful figures in MMA. The dude’s brain is divided into 36 chambers of plutonium-enriched testosterone which can be activated by random patterns of light or sound. His mood and behavior are in complete control of his surroundings at any given time like those blue people from Avatar. Na’vi are way more sophisticated than humans and if 3½ hours of sitting through that movie didn’t prove it you, maybe you forgot to pick up those 3-D glasses you were supposed to wear.
Besides being a talented fighter, War Machine is also an adult film star, and runs one of the greatest/most disturbing twitter feeds in the galaxy. If there’s one thing we’ve learned from his status updates while he was a fugitive from the law, it’s that War Machine is always there for his fans, even when the evening news tells you that he’s assumed to be armed & dangerous, and if you see him, you should call the police immediately.
After going ‘Kill Mode’ at an industry porn party, the legal fees are starting to add up for War Machine and he’s being forced to sell all his old TUF 6 stuff on eBay to pay his lawyers.
