Ladies and Gentlemen, our Gary LaPlante finally made love. This is his story.

Gary LaPlante is a four foot tall meat stick of sexual frustration and hair. That’s why we love him, right? We’ve journeyed with Gary through a seemingly never-ending sequence of lows and lowers. We’ve seen Shogun Rua fall and tap to strikes. Cro Cop and Fedor are either shadows of their former selves or retired, all the while Gary is searching for love in earnest. At 23-years-old going on 65, Gary has spent the majority of his life led by a blindfolded penis in a house of mirrors. Try as he might, Gary just couldn’t get the job done when it came to the fairer sex. Maybe it was the fact that he weighs only 117 pounds. Maybe it’s his hair that reaches the top of his ass, or his questionable mustache. We may never know what kept the women out of Gary’s bed, but those deep thoughts are meant for the past now, as Gary has finally done it.

Gary finally had sex.

If you didn’t know, the handsome staff of MiddleEasy has a ‘lil podcast called The Superchat. On The Superchat we discuss many things, most of which end up being what Gary’s eating and how Gary is still a virgin, but in this very, very, very special episode, we get a veritable Phantom Cam™ replay of Gary’s first sexual encounters with a woman Gary met on the internet known only as “4Chan.”{jcomments on}

If you’re up to it, please listen, but let it be known this very special is for (im)mature audiences only. It’s very, very special and very, very dirty.


Published on March 13, 2014 at 8:09 pm
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