Unlike most of your lame jokes, Jesus is not the name of the maintenance man in my apartment complex. His name is Miguel — and he makes lewd jokes about rape vans all the time. When people address me at events, it’s usually ‘Hey, Zeus’ — which of course sounds like the Spanish pronunciation for Jesus. I never assume my name is being called — just that people love spontaneously speaking in tongues in my presence.
Here’s a drinking game the next time Vitor Belfort does a post-fight interview: Take a drink for every time Belfort says ‘God’ or ‘Jesus.’ All of you guys would be hospitalized by the end of the night. Let’s add a new rule to that game; when Vitor Belfort mentions to MMAFighting.com that his opponents take extra drug tests, spin around in a circle and take a keg stand.
“I don’t believe (Weidman is on steroids), but people give too much importance to the treatment I religiously do with medical support,” Belfort told MMAFighting.com. “And to make it fair, my opponent should also be tested with blood exams throughout his camp.”
This Belfort — the dude can’t go through one quote without mentioning something about religion or Jesus. Seriously, God better recognize that Vitor is basically his biggest fan and give him an autograph.