Watch Fedor Emelianenko get down on the dance floor at a Russian wedding

Man, what I would do to have delivery vegan breakfast right about now. It wouldn’t be anything immoral, however, but it would definitely push the boundaries of my comfort zone. Granted the one thing I would not do for delivery vegan breakfast is get in my car to actually pick up a vegan breakfast — it would just defeat the entire point.

Whatever extent of humanity I’m willing to forgo for breakfast in bed, it pales in comparison to what I would do to dance like Fedor Emelianenko at this Russian wedding. Be jealous, ladies — you only wish your significant other could cut a rug like The Last Emperor.

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