First off, sorry I didn’t get this to you guys sooner. I really intended on publishing an article immediately after what could be considered a nominee for MiddleEasy’s Scrappiest Fight of 2014. Also, for those that have emailed me in the past two weeks, I’m not intentionally ignoring you — but my entire life has been swept in a whirlwind of amazement. Not necessarily anything amazing, but perhaps it’s a new-found wonder at our universe. It’s pretty cool, actually — and yes I did see the first episode of the new Cosmos. In fact, that is pretty damn amazing. In 2012 I traveled to Singapore and got a tattoo of a Carl Sagan quote on my leg. I never had the chance to meet the guy, but Neil deGrasse Tyson did he recounts the tale in the show. It’s pretty extraordinary, out of everything Tyson said he learned from Sagan, being compassionate was the most important thing. It’s such an easy way to fix our world. Every economist, scientist, biologist, cultural archeologist and historian essentially dedicates their life trying to find a way to solve our social ills, and the solution is literally staring at them. Just be compassionate towards other people. Problem solved. Instead of refusing to let someone merge in your lane of traffic, give them space and a polite wave. Let’s treat people on this planet like they’ve made it this far in time and are still alive, instead of NPCs. Oh, that’s ‘non-playable characters’ for all of you people that actually had a social life in high school. I skipped my senior prom to watch a Star Trek: The Next Generation marathon with my dad.
Believe it or not, at one point in your life you were actually cooler than me.
However now I’m doing far cooler things — like discovering the existence of Iggy Azalea and wearing socks with all my shoes. Daniel Straus vs. Pat Curran III was incredible, and there will indeed be .gifs at the bottom of this article (you probably see them already), but as long as I have your attention, I need to tell you about the time when my friends took me to a DJ Shadow concert in Hollywood and just gave me a bunch of psychedelics as a welcome gift. Well there you go, I just told you — and that’s the reason why this article wasn’t up earlier. It probably explains everything said in the first paragraph — however the message is still true, be more compassionate towards your fellow human being (and animal!)
Now let’s watch Daniel Straus and Pat Curran punch/kick/knee/choke/elbow each other for 25 minutes. Remember that part about being compassionate? Let’s also watch them hug like Curran kept every blue Skittle in the bag just for Straus. This MMA stuff, it’s multi-dimensional. Props to ZProphet for the .gifs.