Death threats, Totally OK in MMA: Rousey plans to kill Cyborg with her bare hands

“Georges I’m going to go to the death,” B.J. Penn said. “I’m going to try to kill you and I’m not joking about this.”  Then some birds chirped in Hawaii.  Someone sipped pineapple juice. No police sirens were heard.

“Hey p*ssy, are you still there?” Jon Jones asked.  Yes, Daniel Cormier was still there, and he mentioned how nice it would be to spit in Jon’s face.   “You know I would absolutely kill you if you ever did anything like that?” Jones casually noted.  “I would literally kill you if you spit in my face.”  

“Literally kill you,” he repeated, so there was no confusion about hyperbole.  Then he got in his truck and drove home.  No police chase.  Nobody knocked at his door with a warrant.  As of noon today, he is still a free man.

Now Ronda Rousey has decided to complete MMA’s premeditated murder trifecta.

“This sport deserves a champion that is way better than [Christiane ‘Cyborg’ Justino],” she said, considering the possibility that Cyborg might get signed by the UFC.  “If she tries to undo all the work I have done, then I’m going to try and kill her with my bare hands.  And the only person that’s going to stop me is going to be the referee.”

Would-be felon Ronda has a point.  Mario Yamasaki probably really is Cyborg’s last line of defense.  It’s unlikely, for instance, that the local Sheriff’s department will be on standby, ready to prevent the advertised high-profile crime.  Perhaps he should apply for a concealed carry permit.

The obvious problem with death threats is that they are less and less believable every time the proposed victim goes on living.  But Ronda really dislikes Cyborg, and perhaps she’ll follow through and re-energize this death threat business with some much needed credibility.

“I don’t give a f*ck,” she explained.  “She’s a fraud and she’s terrible for the sport. And if they are going to bring her into the UFC, it is my responsibility to put her away so she can’t ruin women’s MMA again.  But I don’t think she has the right to compete. Coming in on PED’s in MMA is the equivalent of walking in there with a weapon.”

“What’s going to ruin the sport is if someone dies in there, and the other person tests positive for steroids. Then we’re going to have our first homicide. Has anyone thought about that? Has anyone thought about that being more important than the numbers on one f*cking card? She’s not thinking about every single woman that comes after her. About having people think she’s the best in the world, when in reality she’s just a f*cking chemistry project.”

Sounds like a proper murder could be in the making.  The UFC should probably avoid showing this one on Fox if it ever happens.  Children might be watching.

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