Bite-pocalypse: Al Batal’s Bandar Yazan just tried to eat another opponent

It is only a matter of time.  We are all going to die in a zombie apocalypse.   Reclusive computer technicians used to fantasize about it, run survivability scenarios based upon the contents of a hypothetical kitchen cabinet.   Then the wider public started overdosing on zombie movies, zombie television shows, and zombie video games. Pretty soon, it became clear that a major shift was occurring in our collective psyche.  But why this modern obsession with the undead? Perhaps it was all a warning.

Now turn on Fox News.  Some guy with Ebola is rolling around the walking aisle of a commercial jetliner.  A hospital secretary in Boston is typing a Halloween party memo from inside a Hazmat suit.  One West African Ebola victim apparently came back to life after they sprayed him with bleach and wrapped him in plastic. “He’s alive,” someone yelled.  Nervously.  And right around the same time, an MMA fighter tried to eat someone on television again.

Our friend Magical Ray Elbe is one of the coaches on the popular Arab MMA television show Al Batal.  One of his students, an enthusiastic young man named Bandar Yazan, won’t stop biting people.  After the entertaining fight at the end of this episode, his opponent discovers a bite mark on his arm.  It is the third time Bandar tried to eat someone in an MMA fight.

Bite me once, shame on you. Bite me twice, shame on me.  But bite me three times, and I should probably gather my family, hoard some water, and move to high ground.


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