Alexander Shlemenko announces his next fight and he does it completely in English

The MMA meme ‘So we’re throwing spinning [expletive]?’ doesn’t even apply to Alexander Shlemenko. Instead, it’s more like ‘When isn’t this guy throwing spinning [expletive]?!’ In fact, even Shlemenko’s spinning [expletive] is throwing spinning [expletive]. It’s like he’s perpetually in a whirlwind of [expletive] that is spinning when he steps into the cage. Alexander Shlemenko mastered spinning his joystick in a quarter circle in Street Fighter within the first ten seconds of playing the game. Whenever Shlemenko is bored, he spends his time giving tips to hurricanes and tornadoes. When a human being flushes a toilet in Australia, the water spins counter-clockwise. When Shlemenko uses the toilet, the water goes any direction Shlemenko says it goes. Alexander doesn’t even throw spinning backfists anymore. He’s above that. His hand just orbits the arena until it finds his opponent’s head.

We’re not sure what’s going on with Alexander Shlemenko’s Bellator contract or his highly anticipated rematch with Hector Lombard that was thwarted when Lombard signed with the UFC earlier this summer. No one is accusing Hector of ducking Shlemenko, well no one except you. Oh, I’m going to tell Lombard you said that. Good luck living the rest of 2012 without visiting a hospital. Since everyone seems to be unaware of what Shlemenko is doing now that he’s no longer fighting Lombard, he took the time to give everyone an update on his newly signed fight with Anthony Ruiz which goes down August 11th in Sochi, Russia.

Published on July 10, 2012 at 12:43 am
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