Here’s the Xbox One being unleashed from it’s one box for the first time

Somewhere in Mexico, this Xbox One was packed with care by a man lovingly known around the warehouse as Xbox Juan. Okay, I don’t know if that’s true, but sometimes I feel like my only reason on this earth is to make bad puns, love and somewhat accurate observations about gaming and the nerd life in general. This is something I’m fine with. It is my cross to bear. I’m doing it for you.

Today Major Nelson, who may or may not be part of the armed forces, decided to gingerly unveil the Xbox One ‘Day One’ edition, which I have preordered purely so I can have the Kinect camera spy on me during my most intimate gaming sessions. I also plan on yelling out ‘pressure cooker’ and ‘Obama’ just to see if the NSA is listening in on the impressive device (no I’m not). 

So here is Major Nelson in what looks to be the secret lair of some nefarious crime ring that rivals the Ninja Turtles (not the Foot Clan though), and he’s literally showing you everything your $500 plus applicable tax gets you this November. What day in November? We don’t know. A sick part of me wants to see the PS4 and Xbox One released on Black Friday purely for the chaos alone.

Listen to Major Nelson say ‘beautiful’ a half dozen times in the video below.

The headset looks poopy. I’m interested in the controller.


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