Among the realm of sasquatches, loch ness monsters, chupacabras and snow yetis lies a creature that most people are too dumb to know about. This creature is called 'The illness/injury fairy' and it has been camping out in the living room of every UFC title holder (it tried to fly to Hawaii but BJ screamed 'Go to BJPenn.com' so it created an account and trolls on the message boards now). Anderson Silva is out while his elbow recovers, GSP is injured, Lyoto Machida's immediate rematch against Shogun Rua will have to wait a while due to a medical suspension from UFC 104 and now Brock Lesnar admits that he has mononucleosis (which sounds like some alien city Superman and Green Lantern would team up to defend).

Brock has the kissing disease and it looks like he will be out for his rescheduled UFC 108 bout with Shane Carwin. We tried to get a hold of Carwin to get his reaction but he told us to drink some tequila instead (dude is filled with great ideas). If Shane Carwin tells you something, your options are pretty much limited to 'Yes, I will'. The UFC Heavyweight division is pretty screwy at the moment but lets look at the bright side, Marcus Jones is packing some serious Brazilian jiu-jitsu in those tree trunks he calls legs. Dude scored the first (and only) win for Team Rampage tonight on TUF, a win that can hopefully prevent any more cardboard doors from being ripped from the hinges. [Source]

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0 # Guest 2009-11-04 16:38

Next time, cycle properly Brock and use sterile needles.

From the Flu to H1N1 to Mono. What's next? The Ebola Virus? The Plague? Smallpox?

My diagnosis: Chickenshitis. A rare affliction targeting UFC title holders that is transmissible only to other title holders. E.g. Machida > Brock > Anderson

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+1 # Guest 2009-11-04 16:39

I guess this makes the interim title holder: Mononucleosis.

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0 # Face_Breaker 2009-11-04 17:37

This is getting out of hand. Whatthefuckery to the maxxx. Brock is a pussy. I hope Dana starts running him down. Because he is a total embarrassment at this point. Cain vs Shane for the interim. w00t.

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0 # Guest 2009-11-05 03:08

too bad marcus' striking looked very weak

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0 # phr0zen 2009-11-05 05:05

I agree

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0 # SystematicChaos 2009-11-05 06:39

(i've had mono before) that would explain why he's been sick for a few weeks. bad news for him: it rapidly deteriorates excess fat because your body uses a tremendous amount of energy to fight it, which in his case would be his muscle tissue, all the while you lose your appetite completely. it causes you to not be able to stay awake at all for at least a week, and saps you of all physical strength for months. if you do overexert yourself, you end up putting yourself back in bed for a while. so, if he takes his doctor's advice, he won't be back in shape for a few months. and P.S. mono is no longer considered a 'kissing disease', now they believe it can be airborne and people can be carriers for it as well.

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0 # Guest 2009-11-15 05:45

You guys are ridiculous, calling him a pussy for not fighting with mono. Are you actually fucking stupid enough to believe this his employers, the UFC, would not make sure his doctor's aren't fucking lying? Why do you post your stupid opinions here without ever posting a single fact; NOBODY likes to read stupid opinions, considering we are reading this article for facts. If he has mono, he will not fight for a long time as it takes a month to run its course, then a month to recover, then a month to get back into "peak" shape, even though it takes way long to reach your peak; you know nothing about athletics AT ALL. Embarrassment? He himself "embarrassed" Frank Mir, who had beaten him easily before and should have had NO problem at all, embarrasses Randy Couture, a guy that has fought 20+ times more than him, and embarrasses Heath Herring, who could beat both Randy and Mir with relative ease.

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