A Lesson in Street MMA: England and Russian Soccer Turns Marseille into Thunderdome for Euro 2016

There’s a storm coming, Middle Easy readers. You better batten down the hatches, because when it hits you’re all gonna’ wonder why a soccer game could become a city-wide warzone. Evidently, a mix of booze, rivalry and footy is all English and Russian soccer fans needed turn everything into hell. We could write an entire Street MMA book about the violence you’re about to see.

If only we had ol’ Jim Ross to comment on this savagery. BAH GAWD HE HIT HIM WITH THE CHAIR! STOP THE GAME! That’s not even a folding chair, that’s just a straight up solid chair with no points of articulation.

No, this isn’t a scene from the climactic confrontation between Bane’s army and Gotham Police in the Dark Knight Rise, but it sure does look like it. Next time you go to a soccer game, you better gear up wit tear gas and a cattle prod.

Here’s just one of over a hundred Lessons in Street MMA you can take from this: Don’t stand in front of an ominous smoke cloud unguarded because it gives the attacker cover to sucker punch KO you. Keeps your hands up at all times and most of all, don’t ever go to a soccer game.

Check out what all of this looked like as nightfall came and hope Batman glides down into the madness for riot control.

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