Boston Dynamics sure is a weird way to spell Skynet.
You know all those guys that used to skip lunch in high school to program their TI-83 calculators and phreak into phone boxes using parts they found at Radioshock? All of those guys are now working at Boston Dynamics, and they’re busying creating machines that will eventually take over the planet, form into Borg, and refer to themselves as a collective unity.
Boston Dynamics has spent years making the most intriguing robots humanity has ever seen, and MiddleEasy just realized that while all of these machines are groundbreaking — they’re all just a little downright scary.
Check out the top ten most horrifying Boston Dynamics robot creations, only on MiddleEasy.
The concept of a sand flea is scary enough. There’s no need to bring complex robotics into this equation. Anything that has the ability to jump from the ground directly to my head and burrow deep into my ear to make an array of little sand flea babies is frighting. Now Boston Dynamics was elevated this by making a robot that can do the same thing, but now it’s virtually indestructible. Great.
When it starts up, it sounds like a lawnmower motor or a really aggressive sewing machine that has a point to prove. It’s Boston Dynamics’ newest creation and it’s designed to run 16mph on flat terrain. The average human can run 6-7mph, so if you’re on alone in a dark alley and see one of these things rapidly approaching you, good luck.
Rhex is the closest thing humanity has to Wall-E, and that in itself is just entirely too scary. Rhex weighs 30lbs and it can operate upside down or downside up. Vertical orientation means nothing to this thing, and it was funded by the US Army’s Rapid Equipping Force — probably just to troll small mammals in the forest.
That constant buzz in the video is the last sound you will hear when Bigdog eventually tackles you and repeatedly punches you in the face with one of those metallic legs. The scariest thing about Bigdog is if you do decide to fight this thing, it just won’t go down. Seriously. Boston Dynamics designed Bigdog so that it always regains its balance, even when kicked.
This is terrifying because pretty soon it will be able to outsource mules and within enough time, Boston Dynamics will create an LS3 in which a human can ride atop it. Sorry horses, you guys had a great run in human history — now it’s time for the age of the LS3. Also, imagine horse racing being replaced with LS3 races. Interesting.
If Boston Dynamics is making pet men, then who would be the owner? If humans are owning other robotic humans, then isn’t that just a very technologically advanced and sophisticated form of slavery? Wait, didn’t Morpheus warn us about this in The Matrix? The Petman, coming to a human resistance camp near you.
Boston Dynamics touts the Cheetah runs faster than Usain Bolt, which is scary because not even the fastest man on the planet can outrun this nefarious device. The Cheetah also seems to be a beast at running on a treadmill — which would make even the most diligent soccer mom at 24-Hour Fitness envious.
The Atlas can balance itself on one foot while being hit by a 20lb weight. That’s a feat only reserved for the most seasoned Shaolin monk. The Atlas will also eventually turn out to look like this, which should incite fear into every human that has a strong aversion to ominous killer robots with a blue glowy thing on their chest.
Littledog seems to be scarier than its larger counterpart ‘Bigdog’ mainly because of its ability to masquerade as a household dog. Sure you can pet it, but with enough time Boston Dynamics will create an algorithm to immediately rip off your fingers on contact.
Nothing says ‘My GOD I need to run for my life’ like a arthropod that grasps the micro-texture of surfaces using special feet and can them climb up them regardless of angle. Behold the ‘Rise,’ a robot so scary that it took the help of scientists at U Penn, Stanford, Berkeley and Carnegie Mellon to create it.
