Scary Future Alert: A male birth control pill is almost here

My cousin’s husband (would that make me his cousin now? I was never good are figuring out who’s who in my family) is a diehard New York Jets fan. I felt bad for him, he hasn’t enjoyed the high of his favorite team winning a Super Bowl. That is, I did feel bad for him until he told me that “they should’ve just given Tim Tebow a shot.” After hearing him say that, I lost all emotional attachment to him. If he thinks it would have been a good idea to start Tim Tebow, then I can’t feel bad for him — unless he wanted to tank and get a higher draft pick, but that wasn’t the case.

Much like me feeling no remorse for my cousin’s husband, I will also feel no remorse for the people who take the first male birth control pill. As an early adopter for the Xbox 360, having mine break six times, I’ve learned to never be an early adopter of new technology. Sure, I’m probably going to be making a purchase of a PS4 within a few weeks and that might not be the smartest thing to do within its first year. Worst case, I’ll have to send it out to get it fixed. With the male birth control, worse comes to worst, my penis is broken forever. Now, I haven’t done any studies on this, but I assume that most men don’t want to have their penis broken forever as that is one of the most terrifying things that could happen to a man. First Amazon Prime Air and now this!? “The future” is a scary place.

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