I hope I live to see the day when a hot chick makes a Sengoku prediction video entirely in a bikini and places it on YouTube. Perhaps the ‘hot chick’ thing is a tad sexist, however Laura Mulvey would argue that by depicting the female form as such, you actually grant the subject power and control through the use of femininity. That’s right, my feminism theory game is strong so hold off on the ‘Zeus, you’re such a misogynist’ emails and do something productive — like fix me a chicken salad sandwich and clean the kitchen.
Just kidding, of course. Or am I…
We tried to make it happen with Sengoku 13. The script was composed, hot chick was located, but on the day of shooting we realized that it would take approximately twelve hours of driving to the location in order to make it happen. That’s when the inner-slacker kicked in and we ended up playing Fire Pro Wrestling for the remainder of the weekend. When plans fall through, I’ve never experienced a scenario in which videogames were not the alternative. In the future, there will no longer be war stories that can be retold. We’re going to be left with telling our great grand-kids about that one Saturday when you went on a thirty-two kill Sniper Spree in Halo 3. That’s it.
While we all wait for Sengoku 15 to air live on HDNet tonight at 2:00 AM ET, there will definitely be some pre-Sengoku Halo Reach playage to be had in the Zeus household (of which I inhabit with a crew of relentless insects), but before that goes down, we should all start getting hyped for the last Japanese MMA card to be aired this year (technically, Dynamite!! can be considered 2011).
The first time I saw Hiroshi Izumi fight in Sengoku, the guy was literally consumed by Antz Nansen. After that bout, everyone realized that New Zealand does have MMA talent and apparently a first name that begins with ‘Ant’ is socially accepted in Kiwi culture. Granted it was a tough debut for Izumi, but since then he’s been undefeated and tonight he will undoubtedly face the toughest competition of his short career. James Zikic, the former Cage Rage light heavyweight champion, has defeated Evangelista Cyborg, knocked out Gohkan Saki and has earned draws against Jeremy Horn and Fabricio Werdum. If Izumi can find a way to not only survive, but defeat James Zikic, then that may earn him an honorable mention on our ‘Frate Trane’ list.
San Jose’s Brian Cobb has finally decided to temporarily stop submitting people at Gladiator Challenge in order to take part in a bout against Team Grabaka’s Kazunori Yokota. Kiuma Kunioku will also be participating in a fight against Maximo Blanco to determine whether ‘old and busted’ defeats ‘new hotness’, Satoshi Ishii vs. Yoshida style. There’s no way we’re implying that Kunioku is anywhere near ‘old and busted’. The guy has grabbed wins over Ken Shamrock, Funaki, Guy Mezger, Genki Sudo, Nate Marquardt and the 209’s favorite, Koji Oishi.
Masanori Kanehara will also be banging against Korea’s Doo Ho Choi in a featherweight bout. Prior to his last appearance in Sengoku, Kanehara boarded a plane to fly to New Mexico in order to train with Greg Jackson’s camp for an entire month which is a pretty amazing feat since the dude started off his MMA career with a 0-2-3 record. People call Greg Jackson ‘Yoda’ not because he starts every sentence with a verb followed by a subject. Not at all. It’s because he literally trains Jedis to dominate on the ground and rock skimpy shorts while doing it. At this point in the article if I were Canadian, I would say something grammatically incorrect like ‘Good on him’. Fortunately, I’m not a Canuck (although they do produce some decent looking chicks that dig MMA). Instead, I’ll leave you with something only Yoda would say if he were a fan of Japanese MMA: Watch Sengoku 15 you must, Kanehara watching you will. Dammit I screwed that up.
Update: Kanehara vs. Doo Ho Choi has been scrapped due to a last-minute injury from Choi. Bummer.