War Machine went from MMA fighter, to porn star, to fugitive, to reformed MMA fighter, to selling his kidneys on eBay, to being considered armed and dangerous, to dropping out of a fight due to staph infection, to MMA fighter who defeated Zach Light in the UK, to going to prison for a year in the course of only nine months. If you were to add ‘stole a NASA Space Shuttle to fly to the moon’ in that list, we all should not even be surprised by it. Enough of this Dos Equis guy, War Machine is the most interesting man in the world and he even has the verifiable evidence to prove it. Tonight, War Machine will finally be released from prison (again) after serving nearly a year inside the Clark County Detention Center. In order to commemorate the welterweight’s return to the land of the unchained, check out War Machine’s final unedited blog entry regarding his time in jail.
WM Jail Blog Season 2 Finale
“I don’t know what they expect from me – to live like a square – I was born a circle.” -John Gotti
Next time you hear from me I’ll be a free man and back in the gym training like a SAV for this @BellatorMMA tournament on @SpikeTV. What, that coward and that sorry ass judge really thought they could stop ME? This lil’ year locked up like an animal was supposed to destroy ME? Don’t they know that I’m a fucking BEAST, and that all they achieved by fucking me was to add more HATE – more HATE to fuel the fire – more energy to ensure that I succeed? I love this. I love the thought of their looks of disgust every time they’re flickin’ through the channels and come across MY face. Nothing is motivating me more for this than the potential to ruin even a few minutes of their lives. They/you can say whatever you want, but I KNOW that them seeing me bounce back so quickly is really gonna irk them.
You see, my problem – jail – that’s TEMPORARY, a small hiccup in life. I’ll be right back to eating pizza and pussy, and living my dream, in just a week! It’s like nothing happened at all, just a bad dream. Now, this 6’3″ 300+ lb. pussy, his problems are much more permanent. 1) His ego is still hurt ’cause he picked on a lil’ guy and got wrecked. 2) He’s still fat and ugly. 3) He’s still broke 4) He still failed in the pursuit of his dreams and will never be anything more than a bully/bouncer. Why, shit, I’d choose jail over his life ANY day! LOL. And that judge, let’s break her problems down. First off, why prosecutor turned judge, everyone knows the $ is in defense. Well, either: 1) She was a shitty attorney and took the easy way (prosecution, ’cause in reality, you’re GUILTY until proven innocent). 2) She’s a man-hater and wanted to punish all those men who never gave her fat, ugly ass the time of day. Hmm… Most likely she’s a combination of both. I’d DEFINITELY rather be in jail than be a fat, ugly woman that can’t get any d**k! LOL. I mean the only good thing about being a chick is the ability to get laid at will. Anyway, yes, all of your problems remain and mine are gone – so have fun pouting/stamping your feet every time you see my face or hear my name – though if you had any self-respect you’d just get it over with and KILL YOUR SELVES.
I laugh at you both, and I’ll never give-a-fuck! I know the rules now, I know what to avoid in order to survive in this emasculated society – all you haters are FUCKED! You’ll never be rid of me. I dedicate every future win to my HATERS, and there will be A LOT, so wallow in it! Ain’t shit that can stop me now!
I will get back up!
P.S. @FlavorFlav just moved in next door. I said, “Flava Flaaaaavvv!” He said, “Yoooooo!” LMAO! Priceless!
Now, what will happen next with War Machine. Stay tuned, ladies and gentlemen.