This morning, I accidentally broke the yolk of my over-easy egg sandwich. Initially, when the spatula made contact with the bottom of the pan, I crossed my fingers and hoped it wouldn’t happen, but once it did, a part of me wanted to throw the frying pan through my television. I considered it for at least 30 seconds and finally decided against it. By then, I had already burned the top of the egg and discarded the idea of eating breakfast at home entirely. Twenty minutes later, I was sitting at Starbucks chewing a stale cinnamon raisin bagel and watching this video of Mike Swick getting his knee drained. My entire day is now ruined, so watch this video and immediately proceed to the nearest restroom to regurgitate whatever delicious breakfast you may have enjoyed prior to watching it.