If you had a nickel for every time you heard someone mention ‘Kimbo Slice’ today then you could have probably afforded that Duchees Honey Bun on the A4 slot inside your vending machine at work. Now it looks like you’re going to have to settle for those Funyuns that taste alright for a couple of minutes until you realize that you’re just throwing your life away. Funyuns are good if you feel like eating onion ring flavored fat…in the shape of onion rings. If you prefer junk food shaped to imitate vegetables then Funyuns are for you. If that’s your dietary preference then I apologize for offending you. I will now write this article in the shape of an apology and stuff it in an aluminum bag.
Last night the entire world bared witness to Kimbo Slice’s first footsteps inside the octagon. The outcome wasn’t what many people wanted (or even expected). Mr. Slice was gently ground and pounded into a TKO loss and Roy Nelson then asked Dana White for a Whopper with cheese. If you listened quietly you could hear the Burger King executives cutting Roy Nelson a check. Despite the loss, millions of people tuned in to watch Kimbo Slice vs. Roy Nelson. Actually 5.3 million viewers tuned in to last night’s episode (with the actual fight peeking at 6.1 million viewers). That makes it the highest rated MMA show in history. Kimbo, welcome to the UFC and I hope you enjoy your 92 fight contract. [Source]