UFC veteran Sean McCorkle, who to his credit looks swole as all hell in his main Twitter photo, is being fearlessly honest about the universal use of performance enhancers in professional sports. According to Big Sexy, who may or may not currently be working as a professional athlete, every single professional athlete uses banned substances.
I’m going to let you guys all in on a little secret. EVERY SINGLE PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE IN EVERY SINGLE SPORT TAKES STEROIDS. You’re welcome
— Sean McCorkle (@BigSexyMcCorkle) February 4, 2015
Tiger Woods? On steroids.
Lebron James? He’s another person who is using steroids.
Tony Romo, Shaun White, Dale Earnhardt Junior, Tim Tebow, Brett Favre, Tony Hawk, Maria Sharapova, and dare I mention Pele. Steroids, Steroids, Steroids, Steroids, Steroids, Steroids, Steroids, and more Steroids.
Michael Phelps may be clean, given that Olympic competition is technically not a professional sport. But even Derek Jeter, the most sacred sports figure in North America, is on steroids according to McCorkle. Still, it is worth noting that the status of McCorkle’s own drug use is uncertain, given that he has lost five of his last six fights and may not have plans to continue working as a professional fighter. Because of that ambiguity, any suggestion that he is using steroids would frankly be defamatory.