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Dream 17, as told by everyone that stayed up this morning to watch it…

Dream 17, as told by everyone that stayed up this morning to watch it…

If scientists could measure the amount of sleep deprivation I currently have, they could — the scientists could, you know, do something with it. Only a select few stayed up for the entire duration of Dream 17 which aired live on HDNet this morning, and most of those people are still passed out on their sofa. After getting just two hours of sleep, I woke up to my paranoid, but overly attractive neighbor telling me that she believes there’s a bed bud infection in my building. I told her to just let those little guys live their life. Bed bugs need to sleep too.

As mentioned earlier this morning, I would compile the greatest comments from our official MiddleEasy Dream 17 Chatroom and compose a play-by-play article of this morning’s event. Basically what I’m trying to say is that I let you guys write the post-fight Dream 17 article for me. Thanks guys!

Pre-Fight:

ZProphet_MMA: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YxxeHWgVgxQ/Tn1ategyEdI/AAAAAAAAE_w/XjScYWg-98Q/s1600/7.gif

JoshfromRaleigh: Varner looked gassed like Kimbo at a porn convention.

GaryLaplante: I just ate my own weight in mcdonalds

Coty Kellison: whats the over/under on good night irenes tonight

JasonNawara: Dada 5000 needs to fight in japan

Coty Kellison: Ive been sleeping on HDNET. Channel rocks

JoshfromRaleigh: So .. yeah how the [expletive] did the voice get from titan fighting to dream in 3 hours? srsly?

Coty Kellison: Dude i told you X-Jet

thekieran: Mike Schiavello is Nightcrawler

Jake Baggio: man I thought Razor Rob was dead before I heard about this fight

 

DREAM Intro:

Donowaman: “We are in….KANSAS CITY!!”

Donowaman: That just confused so many people.

edG1R: THANK YOU YAKUZA

edG1R: FOR DREAM 17

JoshfromRaleigh: Yeah I worked all week. Im ready to be a waste of a human

JoshfromRaleigh: Trigg is p4p the most likely to be a porn star on the side.

Coty Kellison: War machine already is

JasonNawara: Jeff Monson: The US claims to be land of freedom and democracy yet is set to veto Palestinian bid in UN to become sovereign country to appease Israel. Pat Miletich: Palestinians elected a terrorist org (Hamas) to run it’s affairs and you’re siding with them over Israel? Pathetic.

Coty Kellison: HELMET

R_M (guest): Who else thought Aoki was gonna break that little kids arm in the intro?

Donowaman: I want a CRUSHER hat

Donowaman: NO KICK NO LIFE

edG1R: dude japan is killing it with these t’s tonight

JasonNawara: Aoki rocking Evolve mma

 

Ikuhisa Minowa vs. Baru Harn

Coty Kellison: MULLETHAWK

Nick (guest): Is the supah hluk belt on the line?

Reniel Pronuevo: man minowaman is just immortal

MinowaGOAT (guest): the speedo is for the power and strength and the Mullet is for style baru harn is about to get heel hooked

JoshfromRaleigh: single leg of doom

JasonNawara: cameraman fell?!

RyanMcKinnell: 60% of the time, Minowaman wins everytime.

eatmybutt (guest): how is this fight still going

thekieran: DONE

Coty Kellison: dude. like only the 3rd time ive seen Kesa Gatame in mma

 

Rodolfo Marques vs. Yusup Saadulaev

Donowaman: WAR MARQUES

Nick (guest): Go with the russian. DREAM needs an unbeatable russian

JasonNawara: Sinatra awesome

SST (guest): the russian will lose with this walkout song

Coty Kellison: sinatra < 36 mafia

Donowaman: This is a good fight.

LiverKickdotcom: guys you all stayed up late to watch guys squeeze their legs around the other’s head.

WombatSports (guest): One thing about Japanese audiences – they don’t boo ground work

MamuuteIFI: i thought he was gonna go home with his head

JasonNawara: Russians are the last men

ltsmackabitch (guest): that was SLICK how he set up the omoplata

LiverKickdotcom: man, what the haters don’t get about Japanese MMA is that it is fun to watch.. it has a different atmosphere and the fighters fight in an entirely different style

Coty Kellison: those dudes straight brawl forever

MiddleEasy: Russian scrambles are the new heel hooks.

 

Masakazu Imanari vs. Abel Cullum

KSSU-Barge (guest): Imnari by texas cloverleaf

MiddleEasy: My favorite fighter on the entire planet is about to fight right now. The bromance is blatant. I don’t care.

Coty Kellison: lol at aoki slapping imanari

xx1251: Don Frye just needs to stand at ringside, like some on air analysts do at sporting events on espn and the network tv shows

xx1251: they just need to cut to him between rounds and have him speak his mind

Nick (guest): Abel Cullum is what you get when Dan Hardy has sex with Cerrone.

Nick (guest): Imanari by sade

ifeelLuckyPunk (guest): imanari by whatever the hell the undertaker submits people with

xx1251: Abel wins though, because his dad was bad ass enough to name his son Abel

MiddleEasy: Watching Imanari is the equivalent of using Game Genie to beat a Nintendo game.

JoshfromRaleigh: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!

Boom (guest): if americans judged this, imanari would be losing, but he’s threatening with all kinds of subs

Nick (guest): “More subs than a quiznos”

DylanWBray: imanari via murder his family

JoshfromRaleigh: tap

xx1251: HES CRYING LOL

Boom (guest): that looked painful

 

Bibiano Fernandes vs. Takafumi Otsuka

Nick (guest): Bibi, why do you always look pissed off?

Nick (guest): WOW

Coty Kellison: wow

Boom (guest): bibiano just went BEAST MODE

Coty Kellison: that was fast

thekieran: oh wow

R_M (guest): FATALITY

JoshfromRaleigh: poor guy

robot (guest): he saw bibis face and just gave up

 

Hideo Tokoro vs. Antonio Banuelos

KSSU-Barge (guest): Tokoro would smash on cruz

R_M (guest): cruz would wreck all these clowns

thekieran: Banuelos lost the chops?

Donowaman: If Banuelos sleeps Tokoro I’ll cry

JoshfromRaleigh: If you dont respect thrash metal get the [expletive] out

WhiteboyCnote: I have been going to OZ fest before half you were born

ifeelLuckyPunk (guest): banuelos looks like a flyweight

Coty Kellison: nice flying knee

JasonNawara: wobbly!

WhiteboyCnote: “the Mustache survives”

Nick (guest): So…rd 1…either way, 2 Banuelos, 3 Tokoro?

Coty Kellison: Tokoro

Donowaman: Terrible decision.

R_M (guest): good decision. glad tokoro didnt get the home town call.

 

Kazuhiro Nakamura vs. Gerald Harris

GaryLaplante: Gerald Harris is going to sleep son

Donowaman: Kazu is going to dominate Harris

WhiteboyCnote: shut up fatty

WhiteboyCnote: Im biased Gerald is my boy

GaryLaplante: Gerald Harris hasn’t won a legit fight since 03

WhiteboyCnote: Gary Im slappin you

WhiteboyCnote: GERALD HAND IS BROKE, HIS RIGHT

GaryLaplante: I’ll [expletive] him up

GaryLaplante: He wouldn’t even touch me in the streets

JasonNawara: how do you know Gerald Harris?

WhiteboyCnote: I go to the tulsa area and chill with him from time to time

WhiteboyCnote: When the tornado hit Joplin he came and helped with me also

JasonNawara: describe a WhiteboyCnote/gerald harris day on the town

WhiteboyCnote: Damn it Slam him already or reset

GaryLaplante: Nakamura isn’t even high for this fight

Donowaman: Cnote, I’d literally tap you within 20 seconds.

WhiteboyCnote: The only thing you tapout is a triple cheese burger fatty

GaryLaplante: Gerald Harris is ducking JDS. He is scared of the Brazilians.

GaryLaplante: I bet you Harris gets high off of one hit, he can’t even smoke the [expletive] Nak smokes. Nak smokes fat blunts to his face with no remorse.

Deadwin (guest): Nakamura invented tylenol pm

GaryLaplante: Wow, they [expletive] robbed Nak.

WhiteboyCnote: It wasnt impressive but it was a win… I think a cage might help the takedowns alot… Sorry Im an [expletive] but Donawaman Go lose about 250 pounds and we can fight cause then you will be in my weightclass… Dont fall over and die from high cholesteral

 

Satoru Kitaoka vs. Willamy Freire

Sean Kumar Sinha: KITAOKA is about to pull some crazy [expletive] octopus submission

xx1251: why do people still do that to their hair? in this, the year of our lord, 2011

thekieran: Kitaoka looks like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar

RapeageJackson (guest): kitaoka literally raped seven dudes in an airport

RapeageJackson (guest): “The question is; Does kitaoka have Downs syndrome?” – Schiavello

Nick (guest): Its [expletive] up but Kitaoka does look autistic or something.

MamuuteIFI: just realized how awesome kitaoka’s shorts were

thekieran: man williamy is so fast

Nick (guest): If Willamy loses, he’s going to be mad as hell

Coty Kellison: he hates Brazilians with money

thekieran: Kitaoka!

 

Kazushi Sakuraba vs. Yan Cabral

Tommyie (guest): What body part of Saku will explode tonight?

xx1251: he’ll walk out with an enemies torso

xx1251: Saku has this

Coty Kellison: lol wtf

MamuuteIFI: haha only in japan

DylanWBray: he callin out anderson?

Coty Kellison: this is what happens when you get face smashed 10000000000000 times

KSSU-Barge (guest): BEST ENTRANCE MUSIC EVER

thekieran: that’s final level boss music

xx1251: they need to make Saku into a Cyborg

RedSpeedo (guest): Dude, stop punching saku.

Coty Kellison: there needs to be like 3 snipers i saitama ready to blast

KSSU-Barge (guest): he is just letting him gas himself out

KimuraKev: This is depressing

KSSU-Barge (guest): he will get him with a single to open round 2

RapeageJackson (guest): roll saku, ROOOOLLLL

Coty Kellison: this looks like the ralek gracie fight

MamuuteIFI: god dammit

KSSU-Barge (guest): time to crack open the whiskey

RedSpeedo (guest): Ugh, time to hit the bottle

RapeageJackson (guest): why is he still laying down?

DylanWBray: please retire

 

Takeshi Inoue vs. Caol Uno

DylanWBray: caol uno = asian alan from two and a half men

Coty Kellison: fight of the crappy emo hair cuts

Coty Kellison: fell like im at a AFI concert in japan

twas_handler: promos were always cool in japan. Carry so much emotion

xx1251: if i ever fight in DREAM, my entrance will involve standing on the outside of the ropes and spitting out green mist and cutting my throat with my thumb

xx1251: and making weird hand gestures that dont really mean anything

KSSU-Barge (guest): just a drunken thought Pulver v Saku catchweight for Dynamite?

RapeageJackson (guest): caol uno rides a fixie and drinks pbr

JasonNawara: Caol Uno and Donald Trump share a barber

RapeageJackson (guest): caol uno was turning his back before it was mainstream

JasonNawara: BAm

catvonc: wow

RapeageJackson (guest): lion just kicked the rest of unos hair off

 

Tatsuya Kawajiri vs. Joachim Hansen

metalgearsmiffy: Hansen is a tall, skinny guy. Tall skinny guys fight to the death

HelloJapan (guest): Hansen’s entrance just gave me a seizure

xx1251: this dude would have een a nazi general decades ago

DylanWBray: except hes from norway

xx1251: If Hellboy’s life gets difficult, it’s just because God is afraid of his progress.

Tommyie (guest): Obey. he has a posse.

DylanWBray: having sponsership troubles, hire live band. makes sense

DylanWBray: ten bucks says that band aint gettin paid

RapeageJackson (guest): i want somebody to rebuild prime mark kerr

JasonNawara: Yves Edwards told us that Hellboy smelled like old sour cream

thekieran: That means hansen smells like anyone at a metal show

Coty Kellison: he doesnt have time to shower between training and pillaging

metalgearsmiffy: good round!

xx1251: id say Crusher on the judges card

metalgearsmiffy: kawa on quantity, hansen on quality

xx1251: how old is hansen nowadays?

RapeageJackson (guest): immortal

RedSpeedo (guest): Cmon, kawajiri

Conner Treffry: jesus

RapeageJackson (guest): they dont call you krusher for nothing brah

 

Shinya Aoki vs. Rob McCullough

DylanWBray: aoki via left high kick

catvonc: i love Aoki

MiddleEasy: I ate Brazilian BBQ with Shinya Aoki and his mom.

RapeageJackson (guest): look at this ring announcer, looking like a pimp

JasonNawara: Imagine if Lenne Hardt was Sigourney Weaver

Conner Treffry: baka survivor!

JasonNawara: look out for chatri!

catvonc: I love Aoki tweets in my timeline…they just show up as boxes, and i have no clue what they say

JasonNawara: props to schiavello and trig for going like 8 hours straight

IFeelLuckYPunK (guest): check mate

thekieran: back to feet!

KSSU-Barge (guest): and down we go again

JasonNawara: man, what makes his td’s so powerful?

Coty Kellison: perfect technique

HelloJapan (guest): Aoki with the Fedor-esque ground and pound

Coty Kellison: hes got a north south choke

thekieran: aoki loves jeff monson

catvonc: ohhh [expletive]

thekieran: over

DylanWBray: oouuuchh

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