If scientists could measure the amount of sleep deprivation I currently have, they could — the scientists could, you know, do something with it. Only a select few stayed up for the entire duration of Dream 17 which aired live on HDNet this morning, and most of those people are still passed out on their sofa. After getting just two hours of sleep, I woke up to my paranoid, but overly attractive neighbor telling me that she believes there’s a bed bud infection in my building. I told her to just let those little guys live their life. Bed bugs need to sleep too.
As mentioned earlier this morning, I would compile the greatest comments from our official MiddleEasy Dream 17 Chatroom and compose a play-by-play article of this morning’s event. Basically what I’m trying to say is that I let you guys write the post-fight Dream 17 article for me. Thanks guys!
JoshfromRaleigh: Varner looked gassed like Kimbo at a porn convention.
GaryLaplante: I just ate my own weight in mcdonalds
Coty Kellison: whats the over/under on good night irenes tonight
JasonNawara: Dada 5000 needs to fight in japan
Coty Kellison: Ive been sleeping on HDNET. Channel rocks
JoshfromRaleigh: So .. yeah how the [expletive] did the voice get from titan fighting to dream in 3 hours? srsly?
Coty Kellison: Dude i told you X-Jet
thekieran: Mike Schiavello is Nightcrawler
Jake Baggio: man I thought Razor Rob was dead before I heard about this fight
Donowaman: “We are in….KANSAS CITY!!”
Donowaman: That just confused so many people.
edG1R: THANK YOU YAKUZA
edG1R: FOR DREAM 17
JoshfromRaleigh: Yeah I worked all week. Im ready to be a waste of a human
JoshfromRaleigh: Trigg is p4p the most likely to be a porn star on the side.
Coty Kellison: War machine already is
JasonNawara: Jeff Monson: The US claims to be land of freedom and democracy yet is set to veto Palestinian bid in UN to become sovereign country to appease Israel. Pat Miletich: Palestinians elected a terrorist org (Hamas) to run it’s affairs and you’re siding with them over Israel? Pathetic.
Coty Kellison: HELMET
R_M (guest): Who else thought Aoki was gonna break that little kids arm in the intro?
Donowaman: I want a CRUSHER hat
Donowaman: NO KICK NO LIFE
edG1R: dude japan is killing it with these t’s tonight
JasonNawara: Aoki rocking Evolve mma
Ikuhisa Minowa vs. Baru Harn
Coty Kellison: MULLETHAWK
Nick (guest): Is the supah hluk belt on the line?
Reniel Pronuevo: man minowaman is just immortal
MinowaGOAT (guest): the speedo is for the power and strength and the Mullet is for style baru harn is about to get heel hooked
JoshfromRaleigh: single leg of doom
JasonNawara: cameraman fell?!
RyanMcKinnell: 60% of the time, Minowaman wins everytime.
eatmybutt (guest): how is this fight still going
Coty Kellison: dude. like only the 3rd time ive seen Kesa Gatame in mma
Rodolfo Marques vs. Yusup Saadulaev
Donowaman: WAR MARQUES
Nick (guest): Go with the russian. DREAM needs an unbeatable russian
JasonNawara: Sinatra awesome
SST (guest): the russian will lose with this walkout song
Coty Kellison: sinatra < 36 mafia
Donowaman: This is a good fight.
LiverKickdotcom: guys you all stayed up late to watch guys squeeze their legs around the other’s head.
WombatSports (guest): One thing about Japanese audiences – they don’t boo ground work
MamuuteIFI: i thought he was gonna go home with his head
JasonNawara: Russians are the last men
ltsmackabitch (guest): that was SLICK how he set up the omoplata
LiverKickdotcom: man, what the haters don’t get about Japanese MMA is that it is fun to watch.. it has a different atmosphere and the fighters fight in an entirely different style
Coty Kellison: those dudes straight brawl forever
MiddleEasy: Russian scrambles are the new heel hooks.
Masakazu Imanari vs. Abel Cullum
KSSU-Barge (guest): Imnari by texas cloverleaf
MiddleEasy: My favorite fighter on the entire planet is about to fight right now. The bromance is blatant. I don’t care.
Coty Kellison: lol at aoki slapping imanari
xx1251: Don Frye just needs to stand at ringside, like some on air analysts do at sporting events on espn and the network tv shows
xx1251: they just need to cut to him between rounds and have him speak his mind
Nick (guest): Abel Cullum is what you get when Dan Hardy has sex with Cerrone.
Nick (guest): Imanari by sade
ifeelLuckyPunk (guest): imanari by whatever the hell the undertaker submits people with
xx1251: Abel wins though, because his dad was bad ass enough to name his son Abel
MiddleEasy: Watching Imanari is the equivalent of using Game Genie to beat a Nintendo game.
JoshfromRaleigh: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!
Boom (guest): if americans judged this, imanari would be losing, but he’s threatening with all kinds of subs
Nick (guest): “More subs than a quiznos”
DylanWBray: imanari via murder his family
xx1251: HES CRYING LOL
Boom (guest): that looked painful
Bibiano Fernandes vs. Takafumi Otsuka
Nick (guest): Bibi, why do you always look pissed off?
Nick (guest): WOW
Coty Kellison: wow
Boom (guest): bibiano just went BEAST MODE
Coty Kellison: that was fast
thekieran: oh wow
R_M (guest): FATALITY
JoshfromRaleigh: poor guy
robot (guest): he saw bibis face and just gave up
Hideo Tokoro vs. Antonio Banuelos
KSSU-Barge (guest): Tokoro would smash on cruz
R_M (guest): cruz would wreck all these clowns
thekieran: Banuelos lost the chops?
Donowaman: If Banuelos sleeps Tokoro I’ll cry
JoshfromRaleigh: If you dont respect thrash metal get the [expletive] out
WhiteboyCnote: I have been going to OZ fest before half you were born
ifeelLuckyPunk (guest): banuelos looks like a flyweight
Coty Kellison: nice flying knee
WhiteboyCnote: “the Mustache survives”
Nick (guest): So…rd 1…either way, 2 Banuelos, 3 Tokoro?
Coty Kellison: Tokoro
Donowaman: Terrible decision.
R_M (guest): good decision. glad tokoro didnt get the home town call.
Kazuhiro Nakamura vs. Gerald Harris
GaryLaplante: Gerald Harris is going to sleep son
Donowaman: Kazu is going to dominate Harris
WhiteboyCnote: shut up fatty
WhiteboyCnote: Im biased Gerald is my boy
GaryLaplante: Gerald Harris hasn’t won a legit fight since 03
WhiteboyCnote: Gary Im slappin you
WhiteboyCnote: GERALD HAND IS BROKE, HIS RIGHT
GaryLaplante: I’ll [expletive] him up
GaryLaplante: He wouldn’t even touch me in the streets
JasonNawara: how do you know Gerald Harris?
WhiteboyCnote: I go to the tulsa area and chill with him from time to time
WhiteboyCnote: When the tornado hit Joplin he came and helped with me also
JasonNawara: describe a WhiteboyCnote/gerald harris day on the town
WhiteboyCnote: Damn it Slam him already or reset
GaryLaplante: Nakamura isn’t even high for this fight
Donowaman: Cnote, I’d literally tap you within 20 seconds.
WhiteboyCnote: The only thing you tapout is a triple cheese burger fatty
GaryLaplante: Gerald Harris is ducking JDS. He is scared of the Brazilians.
GaryLaplante: I bet you Harris gets high off of one hit, he can’t even smoke the [expletive] Nak smokes. Nak smokes fat blunts to his face with no remorse.
Deadwin (guest): Nakamura invented tylenol pm
GaryLaplante: Wow, they [expletive] robbed Nak.
WhiteboyCnote: It wasnt impressive but it was a win… I think a cage might help the takedowns alot… Sorry Im an [expletive] but Donawaman Go lose about 250 pounds and we can fight cause then you will be in my weightclass… Dont fall over and die from high cholesteral
Satoru Kitaoka vs. Willamy Freire
Sean Kumar Sinha: KITAOKA is about to pull some crazy [expletive] octopus submission
xx1251: why do people still do that to their hair? in this, the year of our lord, 2011
thekieran: Kitaoka looks like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar
RapeageJackson (guest): kitaoka literally raped seven dudes in an airport
RapeageJackson (guest): “The question is; Does kitaoka have Downs syndrome?” – Schiavello
Nick (guest): Its [expletive] up but Kitaoka does look autistic or something.
MamuuteIFI: just realized how awesome kitaoka’s shorts were
thekieran: man williamy is so fast
Nick (guest): If Willamy loses, he’s going to be mad as hell
Coty Kellison: he hates Brazilians with money
Kazushi Sakuraba vs. Yan Cabral
Tommyie (guest): What body part of Saku will explode tonight?
xx1251: he’ll walk out with an enemies torso
xx1251: Saku has this
Coty Kellison: lol wtf
MamuuteIFI: haha only in japan
DylanWBray: he callin out anderson?
Coty Kellison: this is what happens when you get face smashed 10000000000000 times
KSSU-Barge (guest): BEST ENTRANCE MUSIC EVER
thekieran: that’s final level boss music
xx1251: they need to make Saku into a Cyborg
RedSpeedo (guest): Dude, stop punching saku.
Coty Kellison: there needs to be like 3 snipers i saitama ready to blast
KSSU-Barge (guest): he is just letting him gas himself out
KimuraKev: This is depressing
KSSU-Barge (guest): he will get him with a single to open round 2
RapeageJackson (guest): roll saku, ROOOOLLLL
Coty Kellison: this looks like the ralek gracie fight
MamuuteIFI: god dammit
KSSU-Barge (guest): time to crack open the whiskey
RedSpeedo (guest): Ugh, time to hit the bottle
RapeageJackson (guest): why is he still laying down?
DylanWBray: please retire
Takeshi Inoue vs. Caol Uno
DylanWBray: caol uno = asian alan from two and a half men
Coty Kellison: fight of the crappy emo hair cuts
Coty Kellison: fell like im at a AFI concert in japan
twas_handler: promos were always cool in japan. Carry so much emotion
xx1251: if i ever fight in DREAM, my entrance will involve standing on the outside of the ropes and spitting out green mist and cutting my throat with my thumb
xx1251: and making weird hand gestures that dont really mean anything
KSSU-Barge (guest): just a drunken thought Pulver v Saku catchweight for Dynamite?
RapeageJackson (guest): caol uno rides a fixie and drinks pbr
JasonNawara: Caol Uno and Donald Trump share a barber
RapeageJackson (guest): caol uno was turning his back before it was mainstream
RapeageJackson (guest): lion just kicked the rest of unos hair off
Tatsuya Kawajiri vs. Joachim Hansen
metalgearsmiffy: Hansen is a tall, skinny guy. Tall skinny guys fight to the death
HelloJapan (guest): Hansen’s entrance just gave me a seizure
xx1251: this dude would have een a nazi general decades ago
DylanWBray: except hes from norway
xx1251: If Hellboy’s life gets difficult, it’s just because God is afraid of his progress.
Tommyie (guest): Obey. he has a posse.
DylanWBray: having sponsership troubles, hire live band. makes sense
DylanWBray: ten bucks says that band aint gettin paid
RapeageJackson (guest): i want somebody to rebuild prime mark kerr
JasonNawara: Yves Edwards told us that Hellboy smelled like old sour cream
thekieran: That means hansen smells like anyone at a metal show
Coty Kellison: he doesnt have time to shower between training and pillaging
metalgearsmiffy: good round!
xx1251: id say Crusher on the judges card
metalgearsmiffy: kawa on quantity, hansen on quality
xx1251: how old is hansen nowadays?
RapeageJackson (guest): immortal
RedSpeedo (guest): Cmon, kawajiri
Conner Treffry: jesus
RapeageJackson (guest): they dont call you krusher for nothing brah
Shinya Aoki vs. Rob McCullough
DylanWBray: aoki via left high kick
catvonc: i love Aoki
MiddleEasy: I ate Brazilian BBQ with Shinya Aoki and his mom.
RapeageJackson (guest): look at this ring announcer, looking like a pimp
JasonNawara: Imagine if Lenne Hardt was Sigourney Weaver
Conner Treffry: baka survivor!
JasonNawara: look out for chatri!
catvonc: I love Aoki tweets in my timeline…they just show up as boxes, and i have no clue what they say
JasonNawara: props to schiavello and trig for going like 8 hours straight
IFeelLuckYPunK (guest): check mate
thekieran: back to feet!
KSSU-Barge (guest): and down we go again
JasonNawara: man, what makes his td’s so powerful?
Coty Kellison: perfect technique
HelloJapan (guest): Aoki with the Fedor-esque ground and pound
Coty Kellison: hes got a north south choke
thekieran: aoki loves jeff monson
catvonc: ohhh [expletive]