Daniel Cormier breaks down the exact problem he has with Jon Jones in this video

Daniel Cormier breaks down the exact problem he has with Jon Jones in this video

At some point in 2014, gamers will be able to assemble Jon Jones vs. Daniel Cormier, completely independent of whatever matchmaking the UFC has in store next year. There’s also a good chance EA UFC will be offered in 3D with the new technology that will be emerging in 2014. However, what would a 4D offering of a UFC fight be like?

Pretty soon, the UFC will offer 4th dimensional television in which you will be able to see the progression of time illustrated in some weird elongated tube similar to that scene in Donnie Darko. Watching it at home will be overly confusing, and with all the ‘trails’ of fighters, your TV will just turn into one giant psychedelic kaleidoscope.

When television hits 5D, we will be able to see every possible outcome of each fighter. For example, if we were to watch UFC 160, we would have seen Mark Hunt getting knocked out by Junior dos Santos and Mark Hunt knocking out Junior dos Santos. All of this would happen on a simultaneous plane — so each fight may last hours if not days depending on seeing the outcome that you desire.

In 6th dimensional television, if a fighter is not happy with the outcome of a fight they will technically be able to fold the 5th dimension into the 6th and ‘go back in time‘ to change his/her actions in the fight to yield a different result. Imagine what a UFC post-fight press conference would be like in that scenario — all contenders and champions would probably have a belt sitting in front of them.

If we all live long enough to witness the emergence of the 7D-TV, it would treat each fight as a single point in space. This point would represent the beginning of the fight and all its possible outcomes. Essentially, it would be called ‘the point of infinity’ which would be all possible timelines that could have or would have occurred from the start of the fight.

Now in 8th dimensional television, infinity only plays a small role. If you were to watch a fight on your snazzy 8th dimensional television set, you would be able to witness different infinities created with different initial conditions. For example, if we were to assume that the start of the fight is the beginning of a dimensional timeline that would cease to exist at the end of the fight, then in 8D-TV, viewers can see an entirely new universe in which the fight will occur. In this scenario, an MMA fight may start off in Pride rules, fighters may be able to equip weapons in the ring or humans may have developed an extra appendage to beat their opponent with. This will create an infinity that is different from the infinity that is normally associated with the fight.

In 9th dimensional television, fighters would be able to jump from one infinity to the next. If Ubereem isn’t happy with his gargantuan size, he can jump to another universe/infinity in which the gravity on earth is lower which will enable him to grow to immense portions and be an even bigger favorite with fanboys on The UG.

Finally, if humanity ever got to witness the emergence of a 10th dimensional television, it gets a little bit tricky. 10D-TV would represent all the possible timelines from all the possible universes from all the possible infinities and treat it as one point. We’re not sure what that would look like on your television but it will most likely result in your TV exploding in pieces of charred shrapnel. Thank you Rob Bryanton for telling me everything I ever needed to know about the 10th dimension.

Now check out this video @LayzieTheSavage shot of Daniel Cormier talking about Jon Jones — in our dimension.

Published on May 28, 2013 at 8:23 pm
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