Dana White’s birthday party is so much more fun than our birthday parties

The last time I celebrated a birthday, it involved a ninety-minute wait outside a trendy restaurant followed by a cab ride home because we were too full to do anything else. Clearly, I’m doing something wrong because Dana White is a lot older than me, but for his birthday, he gets to hang out with the best skateboarders on the planet as they grind every ledge of Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory. Then he gets to go to Calgary on a private jet and sit front row at UFC 149 in Calgary while the best fighters in the world beat each other up. It’s obvious that the UFC president stole my middle school vision board and made it his own. He even stole the part about video-blogging all the cool stuff that happens so all of you can live vicariously through him.

Published on July 31, 2012 at 5:45 pm
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