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Cat’s Patheticly Unscientific and Lustfully BiASSed UFC 116 Picks

For the last 27 days its been too hot in the city of Atlanta to live. So because I don’t want to challenge mother nature I’ve spent my days inside not having a life and watching the first 5 seasons of Weeds on demand. I didn’t have a life before, but now that this death via heatwave is upon us I have something to blame it on. Anyway, there’s this scene in season 3 of the show where the characters Nancy and Conrad finally get their freak nasty on up against a wall on a table. Trust me, its hot. You can watch it here if you want to see for yourself. The ass in that scene is a thing of man beauty. What does this have to do with UFC 116? Absolutely nothing. Ok then, on to my picks…

Shane Carwin vs Brock Lesnar

Shane Carwin tweeted after weigh ins that he was rehydrating with three IVs and eating pasta and two whole chickens. Brock’s head appears to be about the size of one chicken, so shane will have no problem putting him away tomorrow night like a 12 pc bucket of extra crispy KFC fried chicken.

Sexiyama vs Chris Leben

Now I remember why I told you that Weeds story. Sexiyama’s ass. Yes, his ass could be the MMA equivalent of the ass in that sex scene from Weeds. His ass looks like it could crack open a beer, hold it, then you could set in top of it to drink later. If Sexiyama doesn’t win, its OK, his ass has already won.

Soszynski vs Bonnar

Soszynski does not look human. He looks like an action figure manufactured at the Hasbro toy company. He doesn’t have a six pack he has an entire case. I have a feeling Bonnar might win though.

Sotiropoulous vs Pelligrino

I’m really busy searching for songs on i-tunes with the word ‘ass’ in the title right now, I do really dig Sots though and want to see him win this one.

Chris Lytle vs Matt Brown

This fight has banger written all over it. I’m really stoked for this one. I’m picking Matt Brown.

Brendan Schaub vs Tuscherer

I’m too distracted by the song ‘bounce dat ass…’ to care at this point. Let’s say Brendan is going to take this one.

Petruzelli vs Romero

Rogan called Petruzelli “the man that single handedly took down Elite XC” at weigh ins. Petruzelli should change his nickname to that. How rad would it be to hear BRuce Buffer say that everytime you walked into the cage? I’m picking silverback.

 

 

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Cat's Pathetically Unscientific and Lustfully Biased UFC 116 Picks
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