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Cat’s Pathetically Unscientific and Lustfully Biased UFC 116 Picks

For the last 27 days its been too hot to be even be alive in the city of Atlanta so rather than attempt to challenge mother nature I have been spending my evenings inside my house not having a life and watching the first 5 seasons of Weeds on demand. Sure, I didn’t really have a life prior to the heat wave, but at least now I have something to blame my misfortune on. Anyway, there’s this scene in season 3 where Nancy and Conrad finally get their freak nasty on up against a wall on a table. (You can check it out here if you want) Its really hot, and the ass in that scene is unforgettable. What does this have to do with UFC 116? Absolutely nothing. Ok then…on to the booty, I mean picks…

Shane Carwin vs Brock Lesnar

Shane Carwin tweeted after weigh ins that he was re-hydrating with 3 IVs and eating pasta and two whole chickens. Brock’s head appears to be the size of one small chicken. Shane therefore will have no problem devouring Brock like a 12 pc bucket of extra crispy KFC fried chicken tomorrow night.

Sexyama vs Chris Leben

Leben just fought two weeks ago. That’s bad ass and hardcore. Leben wants this pretty bad but Sexyama’s ass is so amazing I can’t see him losing. His ass looks like he could use it to open a bottle of beer, hold it and then set it on top of it to take a sip later. If Sexyama doesn’t win, its OK his ass has already won.

Soszynski vs Bonnar

Soszynski doesn’t even look human, he looks like he just got molded on the Hasbro action figure assembly line. He doesn’t have a six pack he has a case. Still for some reason I feel like Bonnar might actually take this one.

Sotiropoulos vs Pelligrino

I’m now doing a search on itunes for songs with the word ‘Ass’ in the title. That Sexiyama ass deserves its own mix CD. OK, on that note you know I have to pick Sots on this one.

Chris Lytle vs Matt Brown

Can’t wait for this one. Its going to be a banger for sure. I’m giving it to Matt Brown.

Petruzelli vs Romero

Joe Rogan called Petruzelli “the man who single-handedly took down Elite XC” during weigh-ins. Petruzelli should change his nickname to that. Tell me that wouldn’t be rad to hear Bruce Buffer say that everytime you walked into the cage. I’m going to pick Petruzelli on this one.

Grove vs Reljic

Reljic makes me have flashbacks to the days growing up around the Croatian gangs of northeastern Ohio. That’s some terrifying stuff right there. The things they would do to someone with a soccer ball if they thought they were Serbian were just twisted. I think Reljic might just take this one.

Gerald Harris vs Branch

I’m singing “bounce dat ass…” by Lil Jon now. There are an assload of songs about ass…and Gerald Harris is so taking this one.

Dan Roberts vs Forrest Petz

All I can say is after seeing Dan Roberts at weigh ins, I am craving a chocolate bar, chocolate milk, chocolate cream pie, chocolate cookies, chocolate covered bananas…

Jon Madsen vs Karlos Vermola

I can’t focus because the words “Booty Booty Booty Rockin’ everywhere are stuck in my brain so I’m going to pick Madsen.

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Not even the UFC ring girls can resist the appeal Sexyama
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