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Behold, the official MiddleEasy staff predictions for UFC 171

Behold, the official MiddleEasy staff predictions for UFC 171

The last time we did one of these, I published it after a night of hanging out with Nick Diaz and Roy Jones Jr. Uriah Faber, Michael Chiesa, LayzieTheSavage, and a few others were also there. It was a rough night prior to UFC 170, but as dictated in the MiddleEasy Handbook: ‘the show must go on, regardless of how you feel.’ That’s right, ignoring human emotion is a prerequisite of writing for MiddleEasy.

Tonight was pretty cool — not a lot of things on this planet can beat DJ Shadow on a Friday night equipped with a questionable amount of psychedelics. The world loves you — which means MiddleEasy loves you too. Of course that brings us to our official MiddleEasy staff picks for UFC 171. Behold and enjoy.

@JasonNawara

Remember three or four years ago when everyone would fill Twitter with, “You down with OSP? Yeah you know me!” quotes? That was the best. OSP via 2010 being a fun year.

@Dvewlsh

What in the name of all things ridiculous is this? I think that people saw OSP as a big prospect for a while simply for the fact that his name was OSP and it sounded like GSP. Krylov takes advantage of the fact that shit is going down in the Ukraine to summon up the power to win this with the power of Kyokushin Karate.

@Shamownage

I don’t really know much about either of these guys outside of the fact that OSP had some hype back in Strikeforce for some reason. I’m picking the other guy. Other guy by decision.

@GaryLaPlante

Listen, I love me some #heavyweightmma it’s so mindless and fun, if only for the hilarity of it. This has never been more true then when Nikita Krylov faced off vs. Soa Palelei, but Nikita Krylov isn’t at heavyweight anymore and no longer does he partake in #heavyweightmma. When #heavyweightmma takes place at light heavyweight, then things go wrong because #lightheavyweightmma isn’t a thing. So the choice is clear OSP by submission.

@AnAngryBlackMan

I really don’t care for this fight. But I choose OSP. I don’t know why, but OSP.

@MiddleEasy (Zeus)

I ate a banana that was more interesting than this fight. I’m not saying this fight is boring, not at all. I just had a damn interesting banana tonight. Krylov with the upset, someone at a bar will compare OSP to GSP during the first round.

 

@JasonNawara

If Jake Shields can survive the first round, he’s got this in the bag. I think he gets dropped early, survives by getting a single leg then rides Hector into the sunset in a 3-round decision win. Afterwards, Alexander Shlemenko shows up at the after party, presents a bottle of vodka to Jake with much joy, then they drink the night away. Shlemenko joins the Scrap Pack, wins another 8 fights in a row, joins the UFC to challenge the undefeated middleweight champion Chris Weidman in 2017 in an all-out war. In the 5th round Shlemenko kicks at Weidman only to have his leg shattered by the Destruction technique invented by Ray Longo, but as he falls on his floppy limb, he throws a spinning backfist, knocking out Chris Weidman. After the fight, Nick and Nate Diaz mean mug in the cage holding Shlemenko’s bucket and water while Jake Shields cries a single, proud tear looking on from the crowd. After the fight Shlemenko fails the drug test for marijuana metabolites. Weidman retains.

@Dvewlsh

Some guys have the ability to throw strikes, others are Jake Shields. Even when Jake Shields was working with Rob Kaman he couldn’t throw a kick that looked like it hurt. Hector Lombard was supposed to be this Anderson Silva-level world beater until he turned out to just be a guy that looks like the Incredible Hulk. Here’s the thing, though, Lombard’s Judo means he will be difficult to take down and his striking is good enough to light Shields up, so I don’t see Shields winning this with playpen-level striking.

@Shamownage

I don’t see how Shields walks away from this one without getting tagged by a huge Hector Lombard KO punch. Lombard may not be living up to expectations lately, but Shields is kind of tailor-made for being destroyed by dudes like Lombard. Lombard by KO.

@GaryLaPlante

Guys, Jake Shields fought GSP nearly three years ago. I feel old now, maybe I should start watching Matlock and say extremely racist things at family parties and everyone says on that’s just Gary, he grew up in a different time. If this fight was taking place at Middleweight, I’d think Shields would be a shoe in to win, now he’d maybe a slipper in to win. Jake Shields by decision.

@AnAngryBlackMan

Several factors in this. First being whether or not Lombard can keep this within the first round. If not, Shields could probably win with ease, as we all know Lombard’s gas tank is not great. Second being whether Jake can withstand whatever Lombard throws at him. Third being how atrocious Jake’s stand-up will be in the fight. Will he poke Lombard’s eyes out of his socket? Will he punch with the power of a five-year-old girl? So many questions. I don’t see this getting past the first round. I hope Lombard summons the power of Demian Maia, Tyron Woodley, and Yoshihiro Akiyama (who all beat Shields and lost via bullshit decisions) to punch a hole through Shields’ skull. Okay, that’s slightly too much. But I choose Lombard by first round KO.

@MiddleEasy (Zeus)

@HectorLombard follows @MiddleEasy on Twitter, so I’m going with him. He also can so obviously kick my butt. If I had eighteen butts, Hector Lombard would go through eighteen waves of butt kicking and reign victorious at the end. Jake Shields doesn’t follow MiddleEasy on Twitter, which is somewhat odd considering that I’ve partied with that guy on numerous occasions. Ah, regardless — a pick is a pick, Lombard wins.

 

@JasonNawara

Jury is trending up, Diego has gotten lucky so many times he’s bound to finally not get a decision in his favor no matter how much he bites down on his mouthpiece and moves forward and is trending down. My prediction is that Diego gets a cut on one of his eyebrows.

@Dvewlsh

I want you to do an exercise with me, and I want you to really focus on this one. I want you to close your eyes and picture Diego Sanchez. It doesn’t matter which era, it doesn’t matter if he’s doing stupid “Yes” Cartwheels or whatever else, but I’m sure that you can picture what he looks like. Now close your eyes and picture Myles Jury. If you are like me, you have no clue who this guy is. You’ve probably seen him fight but he’s left that much of an impression. Guys he has wins over, though, like Ramsey Nijem and Michael Johnson I have no problem remembering, but I can’t remember Myles Jury. Diego thinks because he lost to a guy that went on to get a huge contract that he is, by proxy, just as big of a deal. I think that is the charm of Diego Sanchez; how utterly delusional he’s been his entire career and how it stunted him. I think he goes into this thinking he’s the man and walks away with a weird loss on his record.

@Shamownage

Diego has been going on and on about how he’s a yoga/karate/kickboxer now and since that seems like the worst combination of things for a dude like Diego Sanchez to work on so I’m going to pick Jury. I just have a feeling Diego is going to try to walk through way too many punches and it’s going to catch up with him.

@GaryLaPlante

Realistically, Diego should be on a four fight losing streak, he lost to both Gomi and Kampmann fairly clearly in my eyes which would make him 1-6 in his last seven fights. I know I always make a rule here refusing to pick anyone from TUF, at least post season five. Much like The Simpsons post season 9, TUF post season 5, is just no bueno. Plus, I’m pretty certain Diego has officially lost his mind, he’s always been a peculiar guy, but man, he’s been every so slowly getting a little more insane. I mean, he said he stopped doing yoga cause someone told him it was the work of the devil. I can’t make this up. Maybe the devil wants you to be flexible to partake in all the premarital sex you’ll be having in hell. Jury by decision.

@AnAngryBlackMan

Diego Sanchez has the mohawk. Therefore, Diego wins.

@MiddleEasy (Zeus)

I can’t be the only person praying for the safety of Diego Sanchez’s brain during this fight. Myles Jury hits infinitesimally hard, but Diego Sanchez’s pain threshold is gamma-radiated durable. Seriously though, I don’t like seeing Diego Sanchez fight because you can already see the signs of punch drunkenness and slurring. Conor McGregor is right, the dude needs to quit fighting for his own safety or develop a style that isn’t so haphazard. We all like to poke fun at how ‘crazy’ Diego Sanchez is, but when we find out that his behavior is due to brain damage, who will be laughing then? Myles Jury wins with the doctor/ref stoppage and hopefully Diego will realize what he’s doing to himself.

 

@JasonNawara

I like Condit. I think he’s better than Woodley in every way outside the wrestling department. I like Woodley too. He’s really found his hands of late, even though wanting to headhunt Shields in their matchup was ultimately his downfall. If he wants to win, he takes Condit down. If he wants to lose, but put on a super fun show – he stands with Condit. Anything can happen and even though he’s outclassed by Condit, it will be a more wild fight, and when it comes down to it, outside of seeing legs shatter on kneecaps, I’m just here to watch two dudes fight for money and glory in a controlled environment.

@Dvewlsh

According to EA MMA Tyron Woodley is probably the best Welterweight ever, the equivalent to Fedor Emelianenko. Carlos Condit is going to turn this into a regional Karate tournament, though, hitting Woodley with those pitter patter strikes that score points while absorbing Woodley’s Fedor-level punches to move on to challenge for the Welterweight title, then we’ll get to see the fight that should have been happening anyway in Hendricks vs. Condit.

@Shamownage

I like Tyrone Woodley and expect him to do big things in the UFC welterweight division, but it’s kind of now or never for Condit. Carlos has fought the best of the best in the division, almost beating GSP and arguably winning over current contender Johny Hendricks. I’d be surprised if Hendricks VS Condit isn’t the fight to make after UFC 171. Condit via TKO.

@GaryLaPlante

My phone auto corrects condit to conduit, which was an awful game for the Wii which was suppose to demonstrate the systems viability as a platform that could have hardcore shooters. Yea, that didn’t work out that well. Condit is a much better fighter than Conduit the game ever was will or could’ve been. Tyron Woodley’s has the loudest mother I’ve ever heard and made his Strikeforce fights nearly unwatchable. Condit by decision

@AnAngryBlackMan

Condit by knockout. I think Condit will be able to pull this off, but what I want to know is: has Condit improved his wrestling? As evidenced by previous fights, Condit has struggled with wrestlers, and I think Woodley will probably try to wrestle with him. If he has improved his wrestling, I think he can get past Woodley with ease and make his mom cry cageside.

@MiddleEasy (Zeus)

My only issue with Carlos Condit is that he completely changed his style when he fought Nick Diaz. Instead of being the ravenous guy we saw in the WEC and UFC, he turned into a very conservative striker for 25 minutes. He became dull, and somehow still won the decision. If that Carlos Condit comes out against Tyron Woodley, he wins — easily. However if the psychotic Condit comes out throwing his entire arsenal, Woodley will ground-and-pound his essence back to the center of the planet. Carlos wants the win, so he’s going to fight boring and take a unanimous decision.

 

@JasonNawara

This fight depends entirely on if Johny Hendricks gives more than 70%. If he does, he has the tools to win, but there’s something about Robbie, and if these two decide to meet in the middle of the Octagon™, then Robbie takes it easily. I hope this is an entertaining war that lasts at least 3 rounds. I also would enjoy a 9-second knockout from either corner. I would absolutely hate a sub 9-second knockout or a stupid time like 27 seconds. That’s the worst time and totally stupid.

@Dvewlsh

I don’t know. Both guys are pretty cool, but Robbie had his day as the king of network TV in EliteXC, Strikeforce and now the UFC, but he’ll always be that guy they call upon to have an exciting fight while people are watching. He’s not a Champion, not on 2014. It would be cool, but it’s very clearly Johny’s time and he’s made it clear that he could beat the best (GSP), so he’ll have no problem with Robbie.

@Shamownage

Robbie Lawler is fighting for the UFC welterweight title and it is the year 2014. As awesome as that is, I just don’t think he has what it takes to beat Hendricks. Sure, he could land a big shot and put Hendricks out, but Hendricks has the ability to do the same and has a much tighter defense IMO. My heart is saying Lawler finds a way, but my head says Hendricks takes this via TKO.

@GaryLaPlante

Jason likes Robbie Lawler a lot, so I want him to lose just so Jason is sad. Hendricks by KO.

@AnAngryBlackMan

Lawler by unholy levels of violence that leaves Hendricks down and out. The MMA gods owe me. I watched Junior dos Santos knock Mark Hunt out with some spinning shit, and I watched Anderson Silva get knocked out and his leg broken. The least the MMA gods could do is have Lawler render Hendricks unconscious and complete this epic comeback. I think Lawler is better on the feet, but he needs to watch out for Hendricks trying to turn this into a grappling match. Also, ideally, Lawler needs to finish this within three rounds. He was starting to fade against Rory Mac in their fight during the third. If he does that in this fight, then Hendricks is going to completely dominate him. But Lawler all the way. I just can’t root against this man. I just can’t.

@MiddleEasy (Zeus)

I would like to think Johny Hendricks not making weight has given Robbie Lawler the mental edge going into UFC 171. Besides, who doesn’t want to see the entire UFC welterweight division implode if Lawler is crowned the champion? Ideal situation is Condit beats Woodley, Diaz vs. Condit II happens, Diaz wins and of course Lawler vs. Diaz II for the belt in 2014. Excellent universe we live in.

Call it a premonition, but I just have a feeling something really bizarre is going to happen between Lawler vs. Hendricks that will warrant another immediate rematch. Still, Lawler wins by something borderline otherworldly. Oh, and since we’re plugging stuff, read this new article I manifested in High Times.

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