Battle for Middle Earth starts July 16th

Like Froddo made the mistake of giving the ring to Sam in Lord of the Rings…now Pensacola will have to battle for middle earth after they key to the city will be handed over to Wanderlei Silva on July 16th. Florida just gave over a part of the state to a dude named ‘The Axe Murderer’…how is this not on CNN? This could be the greatest honor any axe murderer has ever received. Apparently, Wanderlei Silva will be talking to ‘at risk’ teens and stressing the importance of being a good citizen. We’re assuming ‘at-risk’ means they’re in the process of transforming from human to orc and they’re looking to Wanderlei Silva for some advice. Anyway, it’s glad to see that the direct offspring of Bram Stoker and Mary Shelley is getting some notoriety outside the MMA world (and Bhorror monster flicks).

The key to the city will be awarded to Wandy at the Paradise Gardens during ‘Coffee with the Mayor’ (we’re serious). We’re not sure who the mayor of Pensacola is but it’s hilarious that he’s assuming a person called ‘The Axe Murderer’ would want to sit down in the paradise gardens and sip on some coffee. Replace coffee with ‘the blood and tears of all your aspirations’ and change ‘Paradise Gardens’ with ‘Asgard‘ and then you will start speaking Wanderlei Silva’s language (which consists of grunting and rabid beats to the chest). Anyway, if google maps ‘Pensacola, FL’ after July 16th and see a huge castle on top of a hill with bats flying out of it, don’t be surprised. [Source]

Published on June 29, 2009 at 1:21 pm
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